Speed dating 20 caras

The r/MtvChallenge Fantasy Tournament: Redemption House - Day 17 (Round Three)

2020.02.11 05:38 ND_PC The r/MtvChallenge Fantasy Tournament: Redemption House - Day 17 (Round Three)

It’s the third round of the MtvChallenge redemption house, losers! This round will last two days only, and is a way of separating the above average from the mediocre. In other words, all teams entering this round have losers’ bracket experience, so hopefully, all teams have been hardened to the point of competing with reckless abandon. While the official Fantasy League™ teams don’t know the misery of suffering, the teams here have the stench of defeat trailing them everywhere they go. How exciting! Join us as losers continue to battle head-to-head to fight for redemption, coming back from embarrassing losses, terrifying finals, and (supposed) voter insanity. While you won’t enter back into the Winner’s Bracket, you may just find yourself the Ruler of Redemption.
Before we get to the voting, let’s recap last night’s match-ups.
Real World Bracket
Match 1.0
Well, u/mthompson22599, the voting public finally gave you what you deserved for picking both Tonya and Kenny. Your apologies couldn’t possibly defeat Leroy, Luke, Laurel, and Jaime in a grueling Rivals II Final. Honestly, Team Dutch Australians took this one because of Laurel. It’s okay, I’m not afraid to say what everyone else is too scared to say: Laurel is an unstoppable freak. She would have no issue shoving her teammates through the hard parts of this final and pushing them to help her solve the puzzles and basically bullying her way to a win. Laurel is the robot princess I don't deserve. One day I will build myself a robot and marry it, and its name will be Laurel, and it will have the same personality as Laurel Stucky - cold, detached, and somehow still capable of launching into a maniacal frenzy at the drop of a hat. But until that day, I’ll have to settle for watching Laurel feast on the minds, hearts, souls, and flesh of friend and foe alike. This imaginary final is no exception, as she is clearly the difference-maker in this final that involves endurance, puzzles, and digging (fun!). Congratulations to u/stayoutofthe-forest and u/dereleek07!
Match 2.0
Tangrams, Sudoku, Patterns, and more Sudoku spell doom for a team of Joss, Cooke, Nia, and Ty. Can you please have a moment of table-rage for Nia on my behalf? I’m being completely serious, I’m a huge Nia fan and hate to see her lose anything, ever. (I’m not a Nia defender, though… that would be something else entirely.)
But really, I cannot imagine that Joss, Nia, and Ty would successfully complete one puzzle, let alone four, to win a final. Joss doesn’t know how to strategize, so puzzles are definitely a no-no from him. Nia probably couldn’t keep her cool long enough to do a puzzle. Ty… well, on second thought, maybe he could successfully complete a tangram or patterns-based puzzle. Cooke would have to carry the team, and I don’t think she would be up to the task.
Team Adore Delano 2020 would have no such issue. Evelyn and Ashley would use their profound contemplative nature and keen insight to big-brain their way through the two sudoku puzzles, while Ace and Cohutta would use their superior charm and unmatched intellect to speed through Tangrams and the pattern-based puzzle.
In all seriousness, Adore Delano 2020 is probably the physically stronger team (though deceptively so!), and that would make a real difference in these tasks - especially the log-moving puzzle. They would maintain composure and have good teamwork throughout the final, and they would easily claim the victory. Congrats to u/honestkodaline and u/priorsloth!
Road Rules Bracket
Match 1.0
The Challenge godfather Mark Long has finally been eliminated from the Road Rules bracket, and who else to vanquish him than a team consisting of a psycho, a sweetheart, a sleezeball, and another psycho. Those players are, in no order, Abram, Diem, Rogan, and Melissa Reeves. Actually, that’s the real order. Abram is a psycho, Diem a sweetheart, Rogan a sleezeball, and Mel is another psycho.
The final starts with an eating challenge. Mark Long and his team of misfits are okay at this, but Rogan clears the table faster than he’s done anything in his life, except getting matching tattoos with Joss. He takes one for the team by eating even what his teammates cannot. (As he has many times before, he proves himself to be a sweetheart after all.) On the following army crawl, Melissa gets flashbacks to the mud from her epic elimination battle with Sylvia. She starts rolling in the mud uncontrollably and motivates her team to go faster and collect the artifact. She is so amped up from the visceral memories of kneeing Sylvia repeatedly for the sake of a ball that she carries the artifact all by herself to the next checkpoint. Later, on the balance beam obstacle course and the number-block puzzle, Diem and Abram team up to distract the other team so they are penalized as much as possible. Although they don’t quite get worked up to the point of nosebleeds, they succeed in a masterful display of teamwork. This team slightly ekes out Mark Long and co. Congratulations u/Gelado99! Better luck next time, u/thatstats969
Match 2.0
Okay, u/Switchstop is no longer the self-proclaimed “luckiest team in the tournament,” he’s also me-proclaimed that. That makes it semi-official, at least. Not only did this team experience a swimming-light final, but they also only barely won their matchup! And against a team of contestants all from the same season, too! Agh. Sorry, u/MattyRobsDW, this ends your time on the Challenge fantasy tournament. Take care of yourself, we’ll definitely be seeing you again. You had one of my favorite teams to root for, and I’m sorry to see you go.
But why did this happen? Why did this team of rookies only go 2-2 in finals? How could that possibly be? Well, as we all know, the Inferno final has to do with the seven deadly sins, and it seems like this team has a lot of repenting to do. The lust that Georgia and Bear had on their rookie season would certainly hold them back. The wrath that Morgan had after so many people misspelled her last name on the MtvChallenge fantasy tournament writeups would prove to be her downfall. Bear’s gluttony after being rejected by Georgia (ugh, if only Georgia was the player in that relationship) would incapacitate him to the point of being unable to run the final. Theo’s envy of the other Olympic athletes that wound up more athletically successful than him would eat away at him all throughout the final. The collective greed of these rookies would expose them as a team of pretenders rather than contenders, and their pride would compel them to continue to compete in spite of their shortcomings. In the end, their sloth (well, not Theo) would get the better of them, and they would roll over and submit to the cold grasp of defeat. Congrats to u/Switchstop, and better luck next year u/MattyRobsDW!
Now, let’s get to voting. Today is another DOUBLE DAY, so we will have TWO matchups from each bracket!
Real World Bracket
Match 1.0: u/rileymarks1 vs. u/Lalapalooza6252059
Final: The Duel
Winner’s Logic - neither team provided logic, so I will do so. These will probably end up being super subjective because Stolen by Dashboard Confessional just came on my shuffle so I’m working through this kind of quickly so I can go eat my feelings and perhaps also cry.
  1. You know my feelings on Frank Sweeney. I love him. Yes, earlier I said I’m a Nia fan and now I’m reiterating my fandom for Frank Sweeney. This tells you the type of viewer I am. I also was rooting for Cersei Lannister or the White Walkers to win the Game of Thrones. I like bad and vile characters, so sue me. But anyway, Frank is great because of how bad he is, and also because he has the physical ability to back it up.
  2. Jenny West is a FAKE PERSON, PHYSICALLY. But she’s a blast to cheer for and I can’t wait to see her on another season. She’s super strong and she was probably the rookie of the year, competition-wise (Sorry, Idris). She’s not the brightest light in the big city but she’s definitely capable of winning dailies and probably has the endurance and physical strength to run a final pretty well.
  3. Mitch was pretty relatable as a competitor. I wanted to be his friend. He is Cory’s cousin and idolizes Cory for no reason. But don’t we all have similarly-aged idols at all stages of life before we outgrow them as idols and realize what a terrible mistake we made? Yes, we do. Like actually. I took an adolescent psychology class and this is what it taught me. So Cory was Mitch’s version of that, who cares? It doesn’t change the fact that Mitch was a pretty good competitor with a knack for puzzles and would be a good teammate.
  4. Morgan Willett. No! You know what? I know nothing about this girl. I remember her glomming onto Bananas, which was a storyline I was tired of before it started. She seemed fit, but I really didn’t notice how well she did on challenges. She was the victim of a fellow rookie changing his vote so she would go into elimination with big bad Bananas, and now she hangs out on Bananas’s Instagram story from time to time. I’m pretty sure they went on a months-long vacation after their premature elimination on War of the Worlds. She seemed fit. Make whatever judgment you will on that.
  1. Jordan Wisely went from Sarah Rice some years ago to Tori Deal now. His chill:pull ratio is not 5:5, however, because he is seriously lacking in the chill department. He is one of the cockiest competitors to ever grace the show with his presence. He is a seriously talented dude, and he is a great narrator. He has awful facial hair and questionable style, but his fiancee and he are dedicated to growing together, so who knows how long either of those things will last? Dude is magnificent at representing the differently-abled community as he consistently defeats people in two-handed activities with only one hand.
  2. Stephen Bear is a lunatic! He is awful! His haircut in War of the Worlds 2 walked the fine line between hot and awful, and I think it landed on awful. But aside from being physically repulsive, he is always screaming and messing things up just for the heck of it. He brings completely manufactured entertainment to the show, like a personified version of the stunt that Bananas pulled with his sister and the notes. He is a decent competitor but he’s known for having a ton of followers and taking one round (of three) off Joss in a modified hall brawl. He eliminated Wes, sure. So bake him a cake or something. He’s not worthy of much more.
  3. Nicole Zanatta needs some serious speech pathology work. Her accent isn’t the worst thing about her voice. Her voice’s quality, pitch, rate, fluency, articulation, and tone all combine to make one of the most annoying noises we’ve ever had the displeasure of hearing on a show. She brings out the bi in a lot of women (which is awesome of MTV to show even if she doesn’t necessarily do it with the intention of being inclusive) but she pulls above her weight way too often. How! How. Literally how? If I had a fraction of her confidence in my dating life maybe I could get a date. Competition-wise, she’s easily in the Top 20% of women to ever compete on the show. But she was defeated by a hole in the ground, so she might not do well if the final includes running, as most do.
  4. Mandi Moyer has the appearance of a high school girl who wants to look really good for homecoming - fake tan, bleach blonde straightened hair, giant exposed forehead. This may only be because I grew up in New Jersey, but it seemed like there were plenty of girls trying to look older than they are at an event where literally nobody would be older than them. This is Mandi Moyer. She looks like Jennifer Anniston had a child with Jamie Lynn Spears and it got a so-so mix of genes. Yep! This is all I can remember about her. Please let this excellent description inform your decision.
The Duel Final Description - thanks to u/oxman88 for the description!
Match 2.0: u/cretetts vs. u/harsh-femme’s “Team Harsh Heauxs”
Final: Free Agents
[u/harsh-femme] “Team Harsh Heauxs”
Winner’s Logic
  1. Jodi - Jodi has been the “last woman standing” multiple times in her career. She started off her career by being the only woman to make the final of her road rules season and was the first female individual champion on “The Duel”. Jodi, a two time champion, has proven to be good in just about every challenge that she has completed in. Winning 9/15 challenges with the Rookies over the veterans or by winning 7/15 individual challenges in the Duel, a record for most individual or duo challenge wins in a season. Even in her “worst” season she was seen as easily the best girl on the cast. So much so that when the good guys switched to put her into elimination against Veronica, The Bad Asses were enraged and claimed they weren’t playing fair. She came back and was again the top female competitor and was seen as indispensible by her team. Among her many talents she excels in water based competition, blowing away her competition in “Rafty Race” and securing her spot in the final with beating even the men in “Paddle me.” Her pure physicality matches strength with speed and endurance (as seen in challenges like “Roller Derby” and “Ice breakers”. Jodi was so good on “The Duel” that she was practically the winner as soon as they announced the woman in the sand would be the one choosing her opponent, no woman felt they could stand a chance against her. She is truly in a class of her own amongst female competitors and consistently competes on a same level as even the top men.
  2. Jillian - Who would win in an endurance challenge that is just as difficult as a final? Darrell a previously undefeated endurance machine who is the reigning winner of Fresh Meat and a future 2 time champ or THE Jillian Zoboroski and a one and done rookie? Jillian is the little engine that could, going 5-1 for eliminations in her career (two on which came in the grueling exiles of Canada). Jillian could be a two time champion if not for Kina choosing to save her friend Ibis, by choosing Jillian who the team regarded as the stronger female competitor. She has shown she has grit and tenacity by winning a grueling “Turn Style” match that involved Landon and two much larger women and then beating a completely rested Wes and CJ shortly after. All three of her elimination wins on the Gauntlet two were also very psychical challenges that she who despite her size disadvantage. She is also very adept at puzzles which gave her the edge she need to win in exile. Jillian can be both a leader and a follower making her a very well rounded team player.
  3. Eric N - The man with the skipping rope. This endurance freak and fitness model was one of the first real athletes on the show. He appeared in many workout videos and fitness promotions where “As each workout video progressed, while the other participants remained fully clothed, Nies invariably removed layers of clothing until bare chested” because the is what the people wanted. Nies is a two time challenge champion (and one time host). He was one on three male winners on Battle of the Sexes 2 that consisted of one of the toughest male casts of all time. Eric was consistently one of the top males on the team and in a season where you could be voted out for not performing he was never in the conversation due to his consistency and sportsmanship. Eric and Dan went 6-0 as team leaders in challenges, ahead of great competitors like Theo Von (4-2), Mark Long (3-2) and Brad (4-1). He is the everything man with his top strength being endurance and cardio.
  4. Colin - Rounding out the team is arguably the best one and done competitor of all time in Colin Mortensen. He and Mark were far and away the top competitors for the dominant men’s team finishing 32 points ahead of the third place man (Jamie Murray 3x champ). I dug further into these numbers to filter for the top competitors on both teams (Getting in the top 2 for points in a mission). Out of 15 missions Colin was the top competitor 6 times, the only men to match that were Eric Nies and Antoine (was also was dead last for the men 3 times). Colin was the overall points leader for 9 of the 15 episodes with the next closest being Mark at 5. Of the 4 partner challenges, Colin was paired with a different partner every time and was part of the top pairs 4/4 times, showing his ability to work well with any partners. In the final Colin is the MVP for the men, he is a consistent positive voice and leader, saves the men in the puzzle section and is the fastest swimmer to the finish line.
[u/harsh-femme] “Team Harsh Heauxs”
  1. Tyler Duckworth Fresh off his first win in Cutthroat, Tyler is back and better than ever. On Rivals, Tyler - along with partner Bananas - won 3 daily challenges: Hammock Crawl, Against the Current and Sawed Off, demonstrating Duckworth’s strength, endurance, and ability to work in a team.
  2. Theresa Gonzalez In her 6th season on the show, Theresa was hungry for the win. She showed up with her original partner (Wes) and showed out, winning 3 challenges in the first 6 weeks: I Got You Babe, Open Arms and Don’t Forget About Me. She proved that she was strong, smart and brilliant swimmer. When she got eliminated right before the final, it was tough on her but she was able to come back a week later to replace Nia as Leroy’s ex… and she killed it, showing us all that she is a brilliant team member
  3. Da’Vonne Rogers Following a tough rookie season partnered with Jozea on Final Reckoning, Da’Vonne is back to prove that she’s a competitor. After winning the very first challenge, Impending Dune, Da’Vonne is picked by Bear as a partner and shows that no matter who she is partnered with, she’s ready to compete and can set aside differences to work together. As Bear’s partner, she won the Eye in the Sky challenge and defeated 2 teams on the killing floor: Leroy/Shaleen & Jenna/Gus. In WotW1, Da’Vonne proved that she had communication skills, patience, endurance and a hell of a lot of heart.
  4. Chet Cannon When you think of the Challenge Greats, Chet isn’t gonna be one of the guys that comes to mind initially, but he’s got a lot going for him that makes him an excellent team member! On BotS2, Chet competed with Sarah, JD, and Devyn as Team Brooklyn and managed to make it all the way to the final, winning 2 daily challenges along the way: Logged Out and Hunger Games. He and Sarah also managed to eliminate two teams (Brandon/Cara Maria and Mckenzie/Preston). He’s smart, politically savvy and works well with a team, making him a great addition to the team.
Free Agents Final Description - thanks to u/goddamnsundayscaries for the excellent description!
Road Rules Bracket
Match 1.0: u/LotteryBoundPod vs. u/joshyanks84’s “Team Pornos”
Final: The Gauntlet III
[u/joshyanks84] “Team Pornos”
Winner’s Logic
  1. Evan - at his peak an indomitable force, one who balanced politics and athleticism flawlessly; at his worst, chubby.
  2. Coral - an OG, one who has never lost an elimination. Even though her she dominated through politics, physically she was never one to back down.
  3. Nehemiah - at his worst he worst he had a showmance with Beth, otherwise he was Wes’ closest ally and a physically apt competitor. He beat Kenny although he then Lost to Big Easy in I can which essentially should negate the elimination in its totality. He went on to win his next season. Rivals 2 he was apart of the old boy 3 person team: himself, Evan, and mini Evan
  4. Avery - the only one not to have won on this team, her tenure is also the most ephemeral. I tried to see how well that hooking up dome elimination went and was curious if Johnny lost it for them or if Avery did, IDK. She’s stunning, charismatic, and has fire.
  5. That’s the dream team.
[u/joshyanks84] “Team Pornos”
  1. Jodi Weatherton – The Duel
    1. Two-time challenge champion
    2. Won 7/15 missions (5 on girls day), next highest girl was 3
    3. Never called out for elimination from pure fear
    4. Was ahead of Wes in the final until the puzzle stage (during the initial run)
    5. Finished 1st overall (guys and girls) in “Paddle Me” mission (a swimming motion on a paddle board)
    6. Weaknesses: Puzzles Strengths: Everything else
  2. Tyler Duckworth – Rivals
    1. Two-time challenge champion, Olympic swimming hopeful
    2. Only person to beat CT, Derrick and Bananas (x2) in elimination
    3. 3 daily wins, 1 elimination win in Rivals
    4. Kept pace well with a prime Bananas while sick in the final
    5. One of four men to win back-to-back seasons
    6. Tufts University Graduate
    7. Survived a “Choo-Choo” from CT
    8. Strengths: Everything Weaknesses: Madonna
  3. Tonya Cooley – Inferno III
    1. Won the Inferno III
    2. Second best performing women of the season, right behind Evelyn
    3. Solid final performance, didn’t slow team down through the running and swimming
    4. Very composed due to being her only season while she was married
    5. Strengths: Solid all around Weaknesses: Brute Strength, Davis
  4. Dunbar Merrill – Cutthroat
    1. Won Cutthroat
    2. First overall chosen male
    3. Won an elimination round
    4. Very strong final showing (12.7 miles of running)
    5. Strengths: Brute strength, endurance Weaknesses: Puzzles, pornography
The Gauntlet III Final Description - Written pre-tournament by my partner in crime, u/MandyMTV
Match 2.0: u/trebird1’s “Team Likability” vs. u/Upsidedown_Swan
Final: Invasion of the Champions
[u/trebird1] “Team Likability”
Winner’s Logic
[u/trebird1] “Team Likablity”
  1. Josh Martinez - although not the strongest male competitor will always give it his all and support his partners
  2. Kyle Christie - made a final in his rookie season beating the purge and a strong competitor like Tony and Leroy strong social game will do well in most finals I think
  3. Nany Gonzales - almost made the War of the Worlds 2 getting beaten by Smashley in the last elim before the final she was one of the 3 us members I actually was rooting for Leroy Kam and Nany I want her to win one final
  4. Sarah Rice - from what I’ve seen of Sarah 2 episodes of Rivals 3 and the money steal seems like she’s strategically sound and cutthroat will do anything to win I want to win another final with likeable teammates whose name isn’t Bananas.
[u/Upsidedown_Swan] - again, I will be providing logic because this user did not. At this point I have moved on from Dashboard Confessional and am blasting Lorde (my favorite artist) so I’m just gonna ride the waves here and do these pretty recklessly.
  1. MITCH! I already wrote about Mitch today! He is a puzzle dude who seemed like a normal person but had questionable taste in people. By that I mean he hooked up with Aneesa’s cousin and idolized his own cousin, Cory. To pull a quote from democratic candidate Amy Klobuchar, “Who does that?!” He is fine competitively, and a good teammate, but not the strongest dude out there so I have no reason to believe he would fare better than Kyle or Josh. He’s probably less emotional than Josh though. He’s good at drinking fake beer in finals.
  2. Pete Connolly made the final of his only season - Fresh Meat II. Yo, what gives, dude? Why didn’t you come back? Did you realize that you just made it onto a show with a recurring cast? Seriously, Pete was a good competitor (especially given the fact that his veteran partner was Jill Zoboroski LOL), and he more than held his own on his one season of the show. He’s only 32 years old, which is a similar age to Cara Maria and Zach, but I couldn’t imagine him ever being on a season again.
  3. Rachel Robinson was dope! She was on the first ever same-sex battle of the exes team with Aneesa! She also dated Veronica. While all of this was going on, she won two seasons and made a third final. She is probably in the Top 10 women of all time athletically - seriously! She’s really good at finals and she was really good at dailies as well.
  4. Jill Tuttle is Cohutta’s cousin. She is like the female Cohutta, but not as charming, and not as knowledgeable about the game they were playing. She also has a worse political game than Cohutta and isn’t as physically proficient. She has been on two total episodes of The Challenge. That makes her worse than Jozea, LaToya, and only slightly better than Alan Valdez. Do you even know who Alan is?! Exactly! Why would u/Upsidedown_Swan even pick Jill? Does this person know something we don’t? Is this person Jill in disguise?
Invasion of the Champions Final Description - thanks to the outstanding u/dtam3292 for the details!
Which of these teams deserves to move on in our quest to discover The Challenge Fantasy Draft’s Biggest Loser? You decide.
Voting ends at 10 PM EST Tuesday, February 11.
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2019.09.06 15:32 aspen222 Previews of the Jockey Club Derby, Kentucky Cup and lots more

Saturday, September 7, 2019
Belmont Park
Race: 8 (4:43 PM EST Post)
Grand Prix American Jockey Club Invitational Stakes
Marconi is a $2 million son of Tapit who chased a runaway, record setting performer in his last and showed little two starts back. This gray colt now returns to an easier spot over his favorite track at a distance he likes, and most importantly, he’s beaten just about every horse in this field already….some multiple times……………You’re to Blame is another who showed little last time out but had rattled off seven straight bang up races in a row prior, including finishing just a length behind my top pick two back…………………..After being winless over the last 14 months, Highland Sky pulverized a restricted Stakes field in the mud in his last. I’m just wondering…exactly where did that race come from? And how much did the mud move him up?............................Honorable Mentions: Both Rocketry and Carlino have ability, yet both seemed to have cycled out of form. Either are a threat should they bounce back to past races.
Race: 9 (5:15 PM EST Post)
Jockey Club Oaks Invitational Stakes
Lady Prancealot is just 3 for 14 in her career and has never run at this distance. That said, she possesses a strong late run so the stretch out in distance (logically) should only help. Also, her last race, where she was charging hard, late down the lane in a Grade: 1 run in 1:46.3 for nine furlongs, was excellent…Tepid pick in a tough race to figure………Love So Deep is a good looking daughter of the recently deceased Deep Impact (who stood for eye popping $354,000). She ran very well in her last two overseas and gets first time Lasix here….Huge threat to win it all…………Since being switched over to the turf, the regally bred Romantic Pursuit has finally started running to her breeding. Nice looking filly by “King of the (Sales) Ring” Medaglia d’Oro out of multiple (including the Alabama) Stakes winner Questing, she sports a record of 4-2-2-0 since the change in surfaces. She will be taking a huge step up in class but she is improving as her BSF would indicate (last 4: 75, 77, 79 and 81). ……………..Honorable Mentions: Edisa has run well in all six career starts in France, is 2 for 2 at this distance and could easily better this rating………………………Wonderment has disappointed in three starts in France thus far in 2019. But note, she was a Group: 1 winner last year and, you guessed it, she also goes first time Lasix in here…………………..If you are hunting a longshot, take a look at the stretch running Art of Almost. Albeit she is 0 for 5 on the turf, she has run solid races back to back in her last two.
Race: 10 (5:47 PM EST Post)
Jockey Club Derby Invitational Stakes
It appears the longer the distance, the better Digital Age is. Yes, he was beaten by two different rivals in his last two races and both return in this spot. However, those two rivals; A Thread of Blue is stretching out and Henley’s Joy is somewhat inconsistent, both have “play against” angles in this spot…..Another tepid pick in another tough race to figure…………………….The aforementioned A Thread of Blue has good speed, draws the rail and took the $1 million Saratoga Derby field coast to coast (at 13-1) in his last while running his best BSF to date. However, this son of the gorgeous Hard Spun will have to go 2 ½ furlongs longer than he’s ever gone before………………When Henley’s Joy is right, he’s one tough hombre. The problem is he’s only been right 4 times in 12 career starts…………………….Honorable Mentions (and there are several due to the fact these horses coming from other countries are sooooooo tough to figure.) Spanish Mission is two necks shy of coming into this riding a three race win streak overseas and is still another who goes first time Lasix for his U.S. debut………………….Pedro Cara, who won his last two, and San Huberto, who is 3 for 5 in his career, both ship in from other parts of the world and both also go first time Lasix………………….Tone Broke made a splash in his turf debut in his last didn’t he? The son of Broken Vow came from behind to win a $400,000 (albeit restricted) Stakes race at Woodbine and his BSF have jumped noticeably from 2018 to 2019.

Kentucky Downs
Race: 7 (4:53 PM EST Post)
Runhappy Turf Sprint
Leinster is sharp as a tack right now while coming from behind and reeling off three straight wins including a supersonic 5 ½ furlongs at Saratoga last time out. Good looking colt by Majestic Warrior is 3 for 4 on the turf and the added distance in this spot should only help him………..Narrowest of margins over win machine Imprimis, who is 7 for 10 in his career. In fact, if you draw a line through his last, where he shipped to Royal Ascot and didn’t run all THAT bad, he would be 7 for 9. Stretch runner by Broken Vow shows higher Brisnet speed figures that Leinster and figures bang up here………………Although he’s run very well in all four starts, 2018 Breeders’ Cup Turf Sprint winner Stormy Liberal is 0 for 2019. His speed figures have dropped slightly recently as well and although it might prove futile, I’m going to try to beat him in this spot……………Honorable Mentions: Totally Boss is also in peak form right now after winning three of his last four vs. lesser…………Wet Your Whistle had a four race win streak snapped by my top pick in his last. Although beaten fair and square in that race, this four year old by Stroll could easily bounce back in this spot.
Race: 8 (5:28 PM EST Post)
Three Chimneys Ladies Turf Stakes
Mitchell Road has serious early speed and sports a record of 8-5-2-0 in her career. Good looking filly by English Channel had a four race win streak snapped by Champion Sistercharlie in her last. She will be the recipient of two of my more favorite angles, a drop in class and a cut back in distance as well. Also note, she is 2 for 2 at this distance….Solid choice……………Ms Bad Behavior has chased Vasilika in her last three races and other than being pulled up early in her last, has not been embarrassed by her by any stretch of the imagination. This daughter of Blame will meet no such rival in this spot and she has hit the board in 13 of 16 career starts…………….Simply Breathless won her first two U.S. starts nicely and may have found the 1 3/16ths miles of the Modesty Stakes in her last a little too far. Drops back to a mile, which is clearly her best distance, as her 4 for 8 record would indicate…………….Honorable Mentions: If Kallio, who ran a mile in 1:32.3 in her last race/win duplicates that effort here, she could surprise a few people in this spot……………………..Storm the Hill has been “right there” in her last two races and you get the third start off the layoff angle this daughter of Get Stormy.
Race: 9 (6:01 PM EST Post)
Spendthrift Ladies Sprint
Oleksandra has won three of her last four, highlighted by coming from well back early on to take down the Smart and Fancy Stakes in her last at Saratoga. Five year old mare by Animal Kingdom ran into a minor traffic issue in deep stretch in that race but once she shook loose, she was visually impressive exploding through the final sixteenth of a mile……………….Tiny Tina has come from behind to beat lesser in four of her last five tries. Narrow margin for the place spot being she might need more distance as her 0 for 4 record at 6 ½ furlongs would indicate……………………May Lily is just 4 for 18 in her career but her last three races were all good and the final times in those three also suggest she could be among the vanguard at the end of this one………………………….Honorable Mentions: Morticia has been the post time favorite in her last six in a row but only rewarded her backers twice. This mare by Twirling Candy clearly has talent but I don’t like all the money she’s burned especially in her last three as she went off as the “stick” favorite……………….Cool Beans merits respect in this spot based off the fact that she’s never been off the board in 11 career tries…………Coexistence always gives a good account of herself and finished right behind May Lily twice recently.
Race: 10 (6:35 PM EST Post)
Calumet Farm Kentucky Turf Cup
Arklow just missed in his last three in New York vs. better. Stretch runner by Arch should get the job done here……………..Campaign disappointed (me) in the Pacific Classic last time out. But this $675,000 son of Curlin handles the turf, drops in class and is 2 for 2 on this surface……………..As I’ve stated several times before, Bigger Picture is a threat in just about any turf race he runs in………………Honorable Mentions: Zulu Alpha also drops after chasing much better in his last three. Note, he was beaten fair and square by Bigger Picture three starts back…………………If you are hunting a longshot in here, take a gander at a few including Pillar Mountain, who usually fires his best shot and although clearly overmatched in his last, didn’t fair all THAT bad, My Boy Jack who possesses a strong late run and appears to be rounding into top form, and Botswana, who almost pulled off a colossal upset last time out and has hit the board in 8 of 11 career starts.……………………..Factor This and Hello Don Julio both have good speed but could hurt each other chances if they hook up early.
By: Gerard Apadula
Director of Equine Operations and Development
Knights of the Round Stable Thoroughbred Racing Team
[[email protected]](mailto:[email protected])
2019- Record: 60-165 = 36%
2018- Record: 107-261= 41%
2017- Record: 92-235 = 39%
2016- Record: 91-229 = 40%
2015- Record: 67-180 = 37%
2014- Record: 29-73 = 40%
2013- Record: 20-59= 34%
2012 -Record: 24-73= 33%
2011 –Record: N/A
2010- Record: 24-74= 33%

Little Bets N’ Pieces
**** Vegas Showgirl, dam of recently retired super mare Winx, has given birth to a filly by Japan's late champion sire Deep Impact at Segenhoe Stud in the Hunter Valley.
Peter O'Brien, who manages Segenhoe Stud, described the filly as Vegas Showgirl's 'best foal ever' and added that the result rewarded her owners' willingness to embark on an international breeding program with their band of high-class mares.
"She has thrown leggy types, and Winx herself was a very leggy foal but she has lovely quality with very good limbs and really what you would expect," O'Brien said.

**** Five time Grade: 1 winner Midnight Bisou, the top-rated older female in North America, will be offered Nov. 4 by ELiTE Sales at The November Fasig-Tipton Sales.
Currently owned by Bloom Racing Stable, Madaket Stables, and Allen Racing, Midnight Bisou is an 11 time Graded Stakes winner from seven furlongs to 1 1/8 miles. She is undefeated in 2019 and has never finished off the board in 17 starts while earning $3,245,000.
"Very rarely is an in-form, young, set-to-be crowned champion offered at public auction," said ELiTE Sales' Bradley Weisbord. "Here is an opportunity to buy the best filly in training, a five-time grade 1 winner, and a superstar physical. We're honored that Bloom Racing has chosen ELiTE to consign her."
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2019.02.22 11:56 GeneralSeries Firestorm Ep.2 Book a 2019 King of the Ring (general series)

Ok, so this tournament is going to be a huge 64 man tournament. Asuka, Lesnar, Ronda, and Bryan are out because they are champions. There will be 2 separate tournaments one for the women and one for the men. Tournament matches take place on RAW, SD Live, NXT and 205 Live. This tournament lasts for over 3 months with the semi-finals and the finals taking place at the KOTR PPV and the title Match taking place at Summerslam. Once a person is eliminated from the tournament they are free to challenge for the world titles at another date if they earn it. The official blocks for the tournament will not be announced and the matches for the next round will be revealed at the end of the round. This should hopefully build more anticipation towards the draw.
Men's 1st round

Seth Rollins def. Kassius Ohno. Fun match involving a SHIELD member facing a man who was supposed to be in the SHIELD. Rollins is hyped up as one of the favourites to win the tournament
AJ Styles def. Elias. AJ is also another favourite and he wins with the calf crusher
Finn Balor def. Rusev. Commentary doubt Balor's ability to win the tournament. Bu he survives the much bigger Rusev
Braun Strowman def. Killian Dayne. Dayne gets in a good showing and pushes Braun but he is eventually put down.
Drew McIntyre def. Jeff Hardy. Jeff Hardy is gone in the 1st round. Commentary play up that McIntyre may play spoiler to the more popular superstars
Samoa Joe def. Kurt Angle. Angles run of bad luck continues as he falls to Joe. Joe looks like a monster
Kofi Kingston def. Big E. Highly emotional match, Kofi riding a wave of momentum following the elimination chamber. He beats E but Big E looks hurt after the match. Did he go to far in his quest for gold. Woods and E walk away without Kofi
Andrade def. Mark Andrews. Quick but fast match. Both men seem evenly matched but Zelina Vega proves to be the difference maker
Rey Mysterio def. Cesaro. Rey has to use his speed to avoid he much stronger Cesaro and is eventually able to get him in a roll up.
Randy Orton def. Sin Cara. RKO out of nowhere. Orton moves on
Bobby Lashley def. Lio Rush. Lio pays for costing Lashley the IC title as Bobby hits not 1 not 2 but 3 spears in a row to win the match.
Shinsuke Nakamura def. Noam Dar. Shinsuke gets a bit of momentum beating the up and coming Dar
The Miz def. Goldust. Miz gets a pretty straight forwards win over the bizarre one. Miz cuts a promo hyping Shane's match
Mustafa Ali def. Dean Ambrose. Poor Dean Ambrose. His run of bad luck continues but this is a huge win for Mustafa Ali who looks to go far n the tournament
Dolph Ziggler def. Erick Young. A rare appearance by a wild Eric Young. Ziggler overcomes SAnity and picks up the win
Kevin Owens def. Bobby Roode. Kevin Owens makes his surprise return defeating Bobby Roode. Owens is full despicable heel and powerbombs Roode on the apron post match
Bray Wyatt def. R Truth. Bray Wyatt also makes his return but he looks different. He beats Truth but walsk away with a sad look on his face
Lars Sullivan def. Brian Kendrick. Lars finally stops lurking to make his debt. Kendrick hypes this up as his last time to become great. He gets flattened
Aleister Black def. Baron Corbin. Showcase match for Black who gets a quick win with the Black Mass
Velveteen Dream def. John Cena. Massive upset. The big match that both men wanted is won by the Velveteen Dream. Cena is now free to go after Daniel Bryan at WrestleMania 35
Jonny Gargano def. Shelton Benjamin. Jonny does work this match as a heel as does Benjamin. He catches Benjamin in a mid air superkick to get the win
Tommaso Ciampa def. TJP. Ciampa again dominates and picks up a easy win
Ricochet def. Keith Lee. This is a match that has happened a lot over the independent scene and these two have amazing chemistry with each other. Ricoceht here is able to overcome the odds and defeat Lee. Commentary bring up the fact that Ricochet is impressive but they don't think he has it to win against tougher competition.
Adam Cole def. Xavier Woods. Still shaken by what happened earlier neither Kofi or Big E are at ringside and so Woods falls pray to the numbers advantage. What would have happened if the new day was their.
Matt Riddle def. Jinder Mahal. Mahal tries to calm down the Bro. Doesn't work as Riddle knock out Mahal in seconds
Buddy Murphy def. No Way Jose. Pretty simple match where Murphy represents the cruiser weight division in a dominate way
Cedric Alexander def. Sheamus. Big upset win. Alexander picks up the much larger superstar and hits the lumbar check
Akira Tosawa def. Drew Gulak. Akira proving that he is one of the top forces in the cruiser weight division.
Kalisto def. Lince Dorado. Big flippy match here with Kalisto wining due to the experience advantage
Pete Dunn def. Tyler Breeze. UK represents with a big win.
Tyler Bate def. Trent Seven. The two friends clash in a super hard hitting match up. Bate eventually topples Seven with a tiger drive. The two hug after the match
WALTER def. Shane McMahon. The best in the world gets destroyed in 5 minutes. No offence for Shane WALTER dominates

Women's 1st round

Becky Lynch def. Tamina. Everyone's favourite comes out to start the match. She takes care of Tamina pretty easily but at some point in the match she tweaks her Knee. She gets over this quickly and taps Tamina out. But it is unclear how this will effect the rest of her tournament
Charlotte def. Billie Kay. Easy win for the queen Charlotte looks dominate and taps out Kay
Sasha Banks def. Dakota Kai. Good showing for Kai she has a lot of potential. Sasha also has to fight through injury but gets the job done
Bayley def. Deonna Purrazzo. Purrazzo surprises Bayley early. Bayley comes back and wins with the Bayley to Belly. She goes for a hug after the match but Purrazzo says no. This tournament means that much
Nia Jax def. Kaitlyn. Kaitlyn makes her return and for a moment she out powers Nia. But Jax gets some serious heel heat and beats the returning superstar
Ember Moon def. Alica Fox. Alica attempts her comedy stick and Ember makes her pay in just a few minutes. Again this tournament is serious
Alexa Bliss def. Aliyah. This is the match that formally establishes that Alexa Bliss is a baby face. I know she is better as a heel but she has been doing the same thing for so long and fans are behind her it might be tie just for a year or so to change things up with Bliss who wins with the twisted bliss which she uses a lot more now that she is a face
Natalya def. Dana Brooke. The incredible two week story line comes to a head between these two superstars. Natalya overcomes the odds in a gripping contest to get the big win. \******1/4*
Carmella def. Chelsea Green. Chelsea Green is awesome but she probably won't stay so its best to keep the momentum with Carmella. Lets not have Corey on commentary for this one.
Naomi def. Tarnara Conti. Naomi again is another one under heat which is why she could do with a bit of momentum. Conti has a good showing but can't get the win
Mandy Rose def. Sonya Deville. The two partners square off. Sonya is not willing to hurt her friend but Mandy docent wait. She is in it for the glory. Sonya quickly over powers her proving to be the dominate member of the group but Mandy cheats to win. Sonya looks upset but Mandy trys her best to make good and all seems fine
Peyton Royce def. Ashley Rayne. The better of the two Iconics gets a big win beating one of TNA's best
Ruby Riot def. Racheal Evers. Ruby Riot deserves the world and she deserves a lot more than what she has been getting. She starts off her tournament with a big win
Mickie James def. Nina Samuels. Mickie James hypes up that this might be her last big opportunity to reach the title. She starts off by using her experience to get the win
Shayna Baszler def. Xia Brookside. Shayna is a best and dominates Brookside for a quick win
Kairi Sane def. Michelle McCool. Michelle wrestles as a heel but Kairi overcomes
Io Shairi def. Liv Morgan. Io does just as well with a big spotlight victory over Liv Morgan. Kairi does help her get the advantage over the Riot Squad
Bianca Belair def. Vanessa Borne. Bianca proves that she isn't overrated. (Ok now I'm gonna die). She gets a easy win over Borne. She is a heel by the way. That she
Candice LeRae def. Mercedes Martinez. Again not to much to this one. Just another showcase match for Candice establishing who she is
Toni Storm def. Sarah Logan. Battle of the headbutts. Storm wins obviously because she is the UK Champ and is set up as a threat to win it all.
Rhea Ripley def. Kelly Kelly. The living embodiment of the WWE Diva gets destroyed by Rhea who is presented as a dominating monster
Marina Shafir def. Molly Holly. Holly comes back but is no match for one of Ronda Rouseys buddy's. Ronda is at ringside watching this
Jessamyn Duke def. Eva Marie. Eva Marie is back and this totally is not because I found it hard to find 64 Women's wrestlers who could legitimately be in this.
Nikki Bella def. Isla Dawn. Here come the Bella's. Yay right. Nikki picks up the win. Who is going to stop the longest raining divas champion
Brie Bella def. Maryse. Follow on from the Bryan vs Miz feud from the summer. Brie finally gets redemption over Maryse.
Kay Lee Ray def. Jinny. 2 of UKs best go at it with Kay Lee Ray getting the win
Viper def. Beth Pheonix. Big power match here. Beth Phoenix comes out as a surprise appearance. However she does the honours for Viper who gets big heel heat.
Nikki Cross def. Killer Kelly. 2 crazy's go at it. Nikki Cross gets the big win as she is probably the most well known one of the 2. But they continue brawling after the match and head to the back
Lacy Evans def. Maria Kennelis. 2 classy lady's going at it. But Lacy has more to prove and is therefore willing to do more to win
Kacy Catanzaro def. Eve. Again another case of the returning superstar losing but they have to because we can't keep relying on the past. Ricochet's flippy girlfriend wins
Lana def. Zelina Vega. This will probably be the worst match on the 1st round which is why it only gets 2 minutes. Lana wins because she is more popular
Xia Li def. Little Miss Roxy. The chinsese superstar gets the big win to end the 1st round

Men's 2nd round
AJ Styles def. Tyler Bate. Bate is clearly overwhelmed by the situation. AJ dominates the opening of the match. Bate finally gets vicious and intense and has a bit comeback. But the Styles clash eventually wins it in a hard fought match. AJ raises Bates hand post match
Seth Rollins def. Tomasso Champia. A longer match. Tomasso shocks Rollins by how dominate he is. But Rollins eventually pulls through and wins it
Finn Balor def. Bray Wyatt. The match starts but Wyatt has a scared look on his face. He leaves the ring and loses by count out. Balor looks confused and Wyatt looks sad
Buddy Murphy def. Dolph Ziggler. Big win for Buddy representing the cruiser weights. Ziggler puts him over and Murphy is starting to make believers
Kevin Owens def. Akira Tosawa. Owens attacks Tosawa before the start of the match and powerbombs him on the apron. Despite the refs advice Tosawa tells the ref to start the match and then is immediately nailed with a powerbomb and loses
Aelister Black def. Andrade. Similar to the match they had on SD Live. Andrade takes Black to his limit but again Black has his number and nails a mid air black mass for the win.
Velveteen Dream def. The Miz. Big clash of styles Dream beats Miz with the purple rainmaker. No shenanigans in this match but Dream beats another former world champion
Kofi Kingston def. Randy Orton. Kofi Kingston faces the man who derailed his 2009 push. Kofi kicks out of a RKO and eventually nails the trouble in paradise for the win. His intensity is getting him through everything but at what cost
Jonny Gargano def. Kalisto. Again Gargano works heel. He grounds Kalisto preventing him from flying and eventually taps him out
Samoa Joe def. Lars Sullivan. Clash of the Titans here. Joe puts Sullivan through the announcers table. Joe makes the count back but Lars doesn't
Pete Dunn def. Shinsuke Nakamura. Fun strong style match between the stiffest wrestlers in the UK and Japan respectively. Arm Bars a trades as are forearms. Bitter end counters the Kinsasha for the win
Mustafa Ali def. Rey Mysterio. Take to the skys. Mustafa and Rey go head to head in a lightning fast match. 045 for the win and a so of respect post match
WALTER def. Braun Strowman. Oh my lord what a match. Braun finally meets his match. Someone who can beat him in size but can outmatch him in athleticism and technical work. WALTER gets a huge win and is now the odds on favourite to win.
Ricochet def. Cedric Alexander. Again another flippy match. Alexander reminds us just how good he really is and takes Ricochet to the limit but the king of flight wins it in 20.
Drew McIntyre def. Matt Riddle. Two very similar styles clash in a extremely hard hitting match. Clay more wins it but both men need help leaving the ring
Adam Cole def. Bobby Lashley. No Lio Rush due to how badly Lashley beat him up so yet again Undisputed Era help Cole win it with the shining wizard.

Women's 2nd round

Becky Lynch def. Natalya. Becky is the obvious favourite however being stuck in the sharpshooter is not good for Becky's legs. She powers through this match but will she be okay
Charlotte def. Kacy Caranzaro. Kacy puts in another good performance. Charlotte doesn't take her seriously but soon regrets that. She eventually taps her out but it was a close one
Sasha Banks def. Jessamyn Duke. 2 rival horsewomen face off against each other. Sasha gets the win but it attack by Shafir post match but Bayley makes the save setting up the next match
Bayley def. Marina Shafir. After the match goes longer Shafir and Duke leave.
Alexa Bliss def. Xia Li. Li dominates Alexa who has to work from behind to win with the twisted bliss.
Toni Storm def. Rhea Ripley. The two UK rivals face off against each other. Again Rhea dominates the early part of the match but Storm fights back. She wins with the tiger bomb but Rhea attacks her post match to get her heat back.
Shayna Baszler def. Kay Lee Ray. Kay Lee Ray is good but at this point only the bet are making it through and Shayna is becoming one of the favourites to make it near the end.
Nia Jax def. Lana. Oh Dear
Ember Moon def. Brie Bella. Nice win for ember moon beating one of the Bellas. Commentary are hyping her as one of the dark horse picks to win it.
Kairi Sane def. Io Shairi. I would expect this to be the best match of the round. These two have great chemistry and they should have a nice long 18 minute showcase which Sane wins.
Bianca Belair def. Peyton Royce. Peyton's run comes to a end. Bianca is simply to gifted to lose to her
Nikki Bella def. Mickie James. Mickie's fairy tale ending comes to a early stop. This should hopefully get some heat on Nikki. Also no Alexa or Alica at ringside which is something commentary should put over.
Ruby Riot def. Carmella. The slightly awkward Carmella run comes to a end as Ruby wins decisively.
Lacy Evans def. Nikki Cross. The classicist superstar vs the "nastiest" superstar. The two recent NXT call ups face off but again its Lacy's superior intellect that beats Nikki's brawn.
Candice LeRae def. Viper. Candice is proving to be one of the bigger underdog stroylines as David slays Goliath.
Mandy Rose def. Naomi. The feud of the centenary takes another stop at the KOTR tournament. Mandy Rose has somehow made it to round 3 and she is proving to be one of the most hated people in this tournament

Men's 3rd round

Finn Balor def. Velveteen Dream. This should be a really fun 1st round match. Dream is about to beat another former world champion when Bray Wyatt comes out and hands Finn the victory. Balor looks shocked but takes it.
Seth Rollins def. Samoa Joe. Another impressive performance by Rollins as he counters the clutch into a roll up. Rollins moves forwards as one of the likely winners.
Aleister Black def. WALTER. The monsters are being slayed all across the tournament. Aleister Black gets a huge win landing the knockout blow on Walter who leaves furious post match.
Ricochet def. Drew McIntyre. Again these two have amazing chemistry together. The match stays as a game of cat and mouse for a while but eventually Ricochet shows off his underrated strength to get the win with a brain buster
Buddy Murphy def. Mustafa Ali. One of my favourite Cruiser weight feuds continues as these two clash again but Mustafa Ali doesn't have a answer for Buddy Murphy. Ali thinks that he has all of Buddy's moves scouted but he wasn't ready for a top rope Murphy's law which is what wins it.
AJ Styles def. Adam Cole. Tow former Bullet Club members go at it. However this time Gallows and Anderson come down to help AJ. Undisputed Era no longer have the numbers advantage and so Cole's run comes to end a courtesy of a phenomenal forearm
Pete Dunn def. Jonny Gargano. Dunn tortures Gargano but being a sneaky heel Jonny is able to get the upper hand. But Dunn counters a slingshot spear into a forearm and follows with the bitter end for the win
Kofi Kingston def. Kevin Owens. Owens try's attacking Kofi before the bell but Kofi has it scouted and dodges the attacks. After a long fought match Kofi yet again wins it and Owens is sent home

Women's 3rd round

Becky Lynch def. Bianca Belair. Bianca shows off her viscous side attack Lynch's leg. But she is no match for the man who wins it. Bianca is proven to be overrated (sigh)
Charlotte def. Nikki Bella. Probably two of the biggest heels in the tournament outside of Mandy and Jax. Charlotte and Nikki have very good chemistry from their matches in 2015. Charlotte wins with the natural selection putting that move over
Bayley def. Sasha Banks. The two best friends clash. Bayley is all hugs and Sasha is all fists. She tries cheating on several occasions and Corey Graves nearly loses his mind. Bayley starts getting into it. In the end however Bayley simply has Sasha's number and wins with a top rope Bayley to Belly. After the match Bayley goes for a hug. Sasha thinks about it when Duke and Shafir attack. Becky and Charlotte run out to make the save. Sasha hugs Bayley but then Charlotte attacks Lynch's leg leaving her hurt.
Shayna Baszler def. Candice LeRae. Shayna Baszler crushes another dream as Candice has to exit the tournament. Commentary says that Becky and Charlotte may be worried about the wrong horsewoman.
Alexa Bliss def. Lacy Evans. These two play off the segment that they shared on RAW. Lacy is a patronising heel throughout the match but her antiques costs her. So far the goddess has flown under the radar but now may be her time to shine
Toni Storm def. Kairi Sane. The two winners of the may young classic fight against each other. Toni time prevails but it should be a great match. Toni Storm may have had the hardest route the the quarter finals but she has made it
Nia Jax def. Ember Moon. The evil Nia Jax beats another fan favourite in Ember Moon. She may be the most likely to win
Mandy Rose def. Ruby Riot. Mandy Rose has made it to the quarter finals. Hopefully she is getting pure heel heat which is so hard to find these days.

Men's 4th round

Kofi Kingston def. Buddy Murphy. Kofi Kingston beats the Juggernaut in a highly competitive match with multiple false finishes. Kofi is really getting desperate to win it this time and gets really physical to do it. He looks like a man possessed
AJ Styles def. Finn Balor. Dream match round two goes similarly to the first match. Both men order the Club to stay in the back no matter what. Wyatt comes down to ringside to try and get involved but Balor beats him up not wanting Wyatt's help this distraction allows AJ to pick up the win. Wyatt looks distraught post match and is crying heavily. He attacks AJ injuring is ribs. He is yelling that he is sorry to Balor. The Club run out but Bray disappears in a cloud of smoke. Balor doesn't know what to do
Seth Rollins def. Pete Dunn. Rollins injures a beating but unlike Gargano he faces it like a man and overcomes the pain to land a stomp for the win
Ricochet def. Aleister Black. NXT's last two representatives clash in a typical NXT style of match which Ricochet wins with the 630

Women's 4th round

Becky Lynch def. Shayna Baszler. Ok this match should go long. Like 25 minutes long and 15 of those minutes should be Baszler having Lynch in some kind of Leg hold. Similar to how Suzuki ripped Tanahashi's leg apart for half a hour at new beginning last year. It should be getting uncomfortable by the end. Becky should be in a world of pain as her leg has been worked over for 15 minutes. But she wills herself on and refuses to tap out ever again. She counters a arm bar into a roll up for the win. Baszler continues working the leg post match before the whole locker room have to pull her off of Becky
Charlotte def. Mandy Rose. Yeah so while Becky had to work through agony for 25 minutes Charlotte beats the easiest competitor in the last 8 in about 5 minutes. Now that's a slap in the face
Toni Storm def. Alexa Bliss. 2 girls who have flown under the radar to this point. Storm gets a huge victory as she makes it to the final 4 of the tournament and is looking like a star in the process.
Nia Jax def. Bayley. Another Nia Jax match and another fan favourite superstar bowing out of the tournament. This is becoming a familiar sight.

King of the Ring 2019

Kofi Kingston def. AJ Styles. Rematch from Smackdown a few weeks ago. AJ's ribs are still hurt from Bray Wyatt's attack but Kofi doesn't show AJ the same amount of mercy that AJ showed him. AJ obviously makes his way back into it. Kofi starts making some heels moves. But he pauses and stops. He goes back to fight fairly but is almost caught in a roll up. Kofi wins the match fare and square countering a phenomenal forearm into a trouble in parricide in mid air. Kofi helps AJ out of the ring and the New Day come out to help him. The band is back together
Ricochet def. Seth Rollins. This should be awesome with Ricochet getting a huge upset win over Seth. Neither men wrestle to intensely but it picks up a bit towards the end. Rollins goes for the phoenix splash but crashes and burns which is what costs him as he falls victim to the 630. We are set to get a flippy finale for sure.
Becky Lynch def. Nia Jax. Leading up to this match Becky's health should be called into question and it should be a running story line on RAW and SD with her trying to get cleared. Obviously Nia shows no mercy and goes right after Becky's leg. For some reason Becky is obsessed with trying to slam Nia. Becky does get back into the match and drops Nia. But Nia punches her in the face. But this only fires up Lnych more. Another punch to the face but Becky gets right in Nia's face. Another punch Becky starts walking into them. She finally lays off a punch off her own which flaws Nia Jax. She locks in the dis arm her which wins it in shocking fashion for Becky.
Charlotte def. Toni Storm. While not as hard as Nia Toni Storm provides a big hurdle for Charlotte to face. Charlotte surprisingly dominates the early parts of the match. But Toni gets a huge comeback for about 5 minutes where she takes the queen to her absolute limit and she hits the tiger driver but CHARLOTTE KICKS OUT. However, Toni tweaks her knee shades of what has been happening with Becky. Charlotte attacks the leg horribly and Toni is in a lot of pain. Despite her best efforts Toni taps out. Commentary say that this may be a preview for what Charlotte does to Becky but can she even physically tap out.
Charlotte def. Becky Lynch. Ok here is the big match CHARLOTTE VS BECKY. Becky tries to get the win early and both of them go back and forth trying to lock in their various submissions. Becky actually takes over control during the opening 5 or so minutes. I think at this point people might be getting sick of the constant Becky sells the leg and comes back get up. For most of the match Charlotte tries to go after the leg but Becky has it scouted. But eventually Charlotte gets her opportunity and goes t work and tortures Becky Lynch. But she will not tap out. Becky hits a becksploder of the top rope but cant get into the cover!. Becky tries to lock in the disarm-er but can't get it locked in. She tries a 2nd time and finally gets it in but right before CHARLOTTE TAPS Becky's leg gives out. Natural selection. 12..3. The life is sucked out of the arena and then the boo's come in. Charlotte goes to Smack down to win the title from Asuka. Becky now has to work back to try and get a match with Ronda Rousey
Kofi Kingston def. Ricochet. Ok I know Charlotte vs Becky is the biggest match but I want to send the crowd home on a high note. Kofi comes out to his SOS theme song with all of the New Day members behind him. Ricochet comes out dressed as a angle or something. They start of fast. However after Ricochet lands on his feet a few to many times. Ricochet lands in a superman pose but Kofi intercepts him and goes to work. But he regains himself. They go for 25 minutes. Kofi kicks out of the 630 first person ever to kick out of that move. Trouble in Paradise wins it. Kofi has done it he has climbed up the mountain. 11 long years baby. He nows goes onto Summerslam to face Daniel Bryan

Good luck to my other opponents. Hope you like this all feedback is good feedback

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2019.02.02 04:28 jasonk12 Albums I listened to in 2018 (Part 1 of 2)

ADDENDUM: Reddit told me I wrote too much, so I'm splitting this post into two parts. Apologies for the mess and hopefully that's ok as I didn't feel like cutting anything, it probably wouldn't do justice to the albums themselves.

Now I know I'm at least a month late in making this, but it's still fine, 2019 hasn't seen any worthwhile power metal albums yet (side-eyes Ancient Bards). I had this thing lying around for a while, then life got in the way, so it took a couple days of being snowed in to sit down and finish writing up the list. I'll have you know I did this on purpose in order to listen to the new Azrael album, which dropped in on the very last days of 2018. Definitely didn't procrastinate the hell out of it. I also have a mini 2018 personal awards section in the end, cause the actual sub awards somehow never match my picks (the fuck is a dire peril?). I'm not bitter about that either.

As always, what follows is a list of 2018 power metal albums in alphabetical order. I write my general impressions on each album (along with some individual tracks maybe), then give it a letter grade from A to F based on my overall enjoyment. I also link a particular song I liked on each of the albums. I ended up writing wayyy more than I intended to, so I of course don't expect anyone to read the entire thing, I think of it more as a guide for those interested in discovering new stuff. If you just want to check out an album feel free to skip the walls of text and click the link.

Azrael - Moonchild: Holy shit after 8 years, Azrael returns! The album itself sounds like not a day has passed since "Sunrise in the Dreamland", as it is still chock-full of happy melodies EUPM-style and Akira's weird but likable vocals. It is also about evenly split between fast double-bass driven songs and more mid-tempo, melodic hard rock ones. On the power metal end, "Moonchild", "Surveillance Society" and "Fight It Out" have the classic Japanese PM sound, complete with frenetic pacing and infectiously happy choruses a la Freedom Call, especially "Fight It Out". "Heaven or Hell" and "Servant of Steel" are a bit more formulaic but similar in spirit to the speedy songs, and "Sun Will Arise" is probably the crowning jewel of the album, ending it on a high note. It is extremely melodic, sporting a jubilant and triumphant chorus that could give Stratovarius a run for their money. It's also weird because the song was originally by Elendira (a small-time Japanese power metal band), so not sure how this ended up in here. All the better though - it deserves to be heard. On the mid-tempo end we have "Fly Til The End of Time" which is decently catchy, though I'm pretty sure it's an older song of theirs. "Dreams Die Hard" is AOR at its finest with a very pleasant vibe. There are also like two or three other tracks (it is a pretty long album) that are kinda lukewarm and forgettable, but at least 7-8 songs here are top stuff, making the album one of the highlights of the year, so I'm glad I waited to include it in the list. Unlucky Morpheus aside, this is probably the best JPM album for 2018. A word of caution for people getting into Azrael though - Akira's vocals are an acquired taste. They're not exactly bad, but his voice can get extremely high and his vibratos are ... something to behold, that's for sure. His voice is very unique, but may get some time getting used to. A-

Highlight: Heaven or Hell

Dark Moor - Origins: I almost didn't include this one in the list, since the only connection of this album to power metal is Dark Moor's legacy. If anyone thought "Origins" meant this would be a return-to-roots kind of album, they'd be gravely mistaken. This album would be more appropriately advertised as radio-friendly folk rock. However, it's not awful. There's an abundance of instruments here (flutes, bagpipes, violins and acoustic guitars among others) and the band succeeds in creating this folky atmosphere they're going for (instead of using them to make a ham-fisted symphonic metal album, which is usually the case when power metal bands incorporate such elements to their sound). "Birth of the Sun" has a particularly pleasing melody and vibe, while Alfred Romero's vocals suit the song nicely. "Crossing through your Heart" is also a feel-good burst of melody, but the song itself is literally soft rock you'd hear on a random radio station. This is the stuff Chris Bay listens to and says 'damn, I need to go softer next solo album'. "Raggle Taggle Gypsy" is uh, amusing to say the least. It's very silly and sounds like something out of a medieval-themed musical, yet it's oddly intriguing. "The Spectres Dance" is probably the fastest track on this album, but it's out of surprises way too early and manages to overstay its welcome despite being 3 minutes long. The rest of the album is more of the same as songs start to blend in together and they're all trying for this folky, soft rock aesthetic. There's a cool blues-like riff in the beginning of "Holy Geometry" but otherwise there's nothing interesting about that song. There's also like 3 ballads. I have no idea what direction Dark Moor are trying to take here; it's obvious they're past their neoclassical power metal days and are heading for something different, but this album sounds like they said "we didn't know where to go next so here's another weird experiment". It's decidedly better than Project X but does that really mean anything? Old Dark Moor will be sorely missed, but whatever this was it was at least passable. B-

Highlight: Birth of the Sun

Derdian - DNA: The new album by Derdian is more or less in the same vein as their previous one, both music-wise and theme-wise. This time though there are more upbeat tunes, more proficient instrumentation, and it sounds like the band took their time to hone their songwriting skills, so despite this being a lengthy album it remains (for the most part) interesting. It feels weird, but it almost sounds like a Japanese power metal album, their Galneryus influence is certainly strong at parts. Opener "DNA" is a speedy upbeat song starting off the album on a strong note, while "Never Born" and "Nothing will Remain" are also Derdian at full throttle, despite having a more somber feel to them. "Hail to the Masters" is extremely catchy and has the vibe of an early Rhapsody mid-tempo track. "Red and White" has that classic Derdian sound, it's probably my favorite one in the album. There are also two interesting songs which sound very jazzy at times - "Elohim" and "Fire from the Dust". Not something I would expect from a standard-fare power metal band, but it somehow works well in the context of the album. So, at least 8 songs are well worth a listen, and vocalist Ivan Giannini is on full beast mode, making DNA likely the best Derdian album to date. It's not all great; last three songs or so are kinda boring (at least in comparison to the high level of the better part of the album), and the bonus track is just "Never Born" in Japanese, which is kind of a bummer. Still, this one is well worth checking out even if you're not a Derdian fan. A-

Highlight: Red and White

Dragony - Masters of the Multiverse: I'm a big fan of Dragony, their brand of power metal is dripping with cheese but at the same time it's entertaining, well-crafted and not too tacky. I can't help but feel like this is a slight step down from their previous album though. "Masters of the Multiverse" flirts a lot with pop, as is evident in dancey tunes like "If It Bleeds We Can Kill It". It sounds all fun and good at first, but there's nothing particularly metal about it and its effect wears quickly off. (sorry Dragony you're no BiB) The actual power metal on the album is really good however; "Flame of Tar Valon" is an absolute power metal anthem and "Eternia Eternal", as silly as it sounds, is immensely enjoyable, like a mix of the best parts of Galderia and Freedom Call. "Angels on Neon Wings" is a bit softer yet awesomely catchy, especially during the chorus - it reminds me a lot of Twilight Force's "Flight of the Sapphire Dragon". "Grey Wardens" and "Defenders" are also pretty good (and cheesy), exactly the stuff I was looking for in Dragony. I didn't enjoy much of the rest of the album, the two ballads were pretty forgettable and "The Iron Price" has a slightly different sound than the rest, which I didn't like. I would probably have gotten more out of the album if I were familiar with the references, but I was not even around during the '80s. In general I think this hits the sweet spot for anyone into keyboard-heavy, cheesy happy power metal (if you don't mind poppy elements here and there), yet it ain't no "Shadowplay" - now that was a great album. B+

Highlight: Flame of Tar Valon

Emerald Sun - Under the Curse of Silence: Greek power metallers Emerald Sun continue to underwhelm with another album that flew under everyone's radar, but this one seems to be worse than their decidedly mediocre previous album (Metal Dome). To put it simply, this is roughly an hour of boring, slow-paced power metal with the occasional catchy tune. There's "Blast" with its laughably bad chorus, there's the throwaway ballad "Journey of Life", which they apparently liked so much they sang it in Spanish and put it again at the end of the album ("La fuerza del ser"). There's a slew of uninteresting heavy metal tracks like "Kill or be Killed", "Carry On" and more, which only exist to signify the band's out of ideas at this point. Are they even the same guys that made Regeneration? The only saving grace of this album is "Rebel Soul" and "Slaves to Addiction", where the band decides to pick up the pace and deliver some hooky fast-paced power metal with catchy melodies to back it up. "Weakness and Shame" is also pretty catchy and their cover of Irene Cara's "Fame" ain't half bad either. That's about it in terms of worthwhile stuff. On the other end of the spectrum lies "Land of Light", which is not only completely insipid instrumentally, but also has nationalism-fueled lyrics, praising the greatness of Greece with tired old crap about Sparta and Macedonia and Alexander the Great. This coming out in a time of dispute between Greeks and Macedonians over the name of Macedonia, I'm certain Emerald Sun knew what they were doing with this. Seriously fuck these guys at this point. C

Highlight: Slaves to Addiction

Eternity's End - Unyielding: All I can say is holy shit. This is definitely not housewife metal. I wasn't a big fan of their previous album, which dabbled too much on the progressive side and not enough on the power metal side, leading to technically proficient but otherwise not very catchy or engaging songs. This album however just hits you like a ton of bricks in the face. It's like they cranked everything up to eleven; speed, melody, aggressiveness and everything German power metal - related. The musicianship on this album is pure out of this world stuff, so much that none of the other albums on this list could hope to compete. Christian Münzner is a beast of a guitarist and it shows; every song is densely packed with incessant solos, dueling guitars and plentiful riffs. But really everything in "Unyielding" is in abundance - the drumming is insane, the keys are insane (like Jens Johansson on steroids), even the vocals are insane. Iuri Sanson of Hibria fame sings on the album, and though his voice doesn't reach the heights of "Defying the Rules", he sounds way better than he did on later Hibria albums. His voice continues to be godly anyway - just listen to the chorus of "Into Timeless Realms" and try to not get chills from Iuri's voice piercing the sky. Better yet, listen to the equally amazing chorus of "Under Crimson Moonlight". Also, the chorus of "Beyond the Gates of Salvation" is just :chef-kiss:, especially when the choir joins in, it's just so sublime it would put most Blind Guardian choir choruses to shame. I don't think there's anything less than great about the album; whether it's speedy powerhouses like "Necromantic Worship" and bonus track "The Arsenal", or more mid-paced tunes like the title track and "Cyclopean Force", the band just plays on relentlessly. The only slight downside to the album is that it may get too much at times and there's scarcely a moment of breath. Maybe "Horizonless" is a bit of a change regarding the pace, but everything else is in-your-face aggressive German power metal, bursting with ferocity and catchiness. That's exactly what I want from a power metal album though, so I'm golden. A

Highlight: Into Timeless Realms

Frozen Land - Frozen Land: These guys were probably frozen in 1998 after listening to "Destiny" by Stratovarius and got defrosted 20 years later, so here we are with an album that's pure Strato worship. I don't mind one bit though, early Sonata Arctica albums were basically copying Stratovarius too and they're still regarded among the best in the genre. While Frozen Land's debut doesn't reach the same heights, it's still thoroughly enjoyable with killer songs like "Loser's Game", "Mask of the Youth" and "The Rising" which should please any Strato fan (or any fan of double bass driven, old fashioned European power metal, for that matter). "Mask of the Youth" in particular sounds like a cross between Stratovarius tunes "Millennium" and "Anthem of the World". I also do love how the solo in "The Rising" quotes that famous bit from Bach's Toccata and Fugue in D minor that probably a dozen power metal bands have already quoted - it's wholly unoriginal yet always pleasing to hear. Some of the mid-paced tracks like "Delusions of Grandeur" and "Unsung Heroes" are pretty fun to listen to, and they're still abundant with Stratovarius influences, down to the guitar / keyboard duets and the singer's attempts to sound like Kotipelto. That E-Type cover in the end is pretty sweet as well. Overall nothing in here breaks new ground, but it doesn't really have to when you get a debut album with this level of sound quality and tight musicianship. That's good enough in my books. B+

Highlight: Mask of the Youth

Helion Prime - Terror of the Cybernetic Space Monster: This was my first exposure to Helion Prime as I never got to listen to their debut album (though I hear it's pretty cool). This one is good stuff, for the most part. I can't describe their sound well, the best I can come up with is formulaic power metal with a more 'modern' metal sound, and pretty heavy on the guitars (which I like). "Urth" in particular became an instant favorite, sounding like early Edguy on steroids, and so did the longer, more progressive sounding "The Human Condition" with its catchy verses and hooky chorus. It really shows when a band takes the time to write down memorable parts to keep a song going, so that not every song is just a race to the chorus with filler verses. I liked most of the other songs too, especially "Silent Skies" and "Bury the Sun" (another hooky chorus right here), but the rest left me indifferent. In particular I couldn't go through the 17 minute epic, because rarely can a single song hold my attention for over 12 minutes, so 17 minutes is stretching it wayy far. (basically unless you're Avantasia, Theocracy or Galneryus, don't try this) So yeah that bit was kind of a flop, but other than that thumbs up. Along with Noble Beast (rip) I like this trend of american bands picking up a more European power metal sound and doing something interesting with it. B

Highlight: Urth

Mad Hatter - Mad Hatter: Not to be confused with Mad Hatter's Den, this is a new band that writes power metal like it's the early 2000s. Turns out it's another project by the singer of Morning Dwell, so that kinda put me off checking them out since he sucks on Morning Dwell. He's pretty inoffensive in this one though, at times he sounds like a younger Tobias Sammet. Really the whole album could be summed up as something early Edguy would put out if they were less proficient. It's consistently good and an easy listen, but not consistently great or anything. It would help if they didn't start the album with a 9 minute song, it only works in the album's favor when the song is really good (see: "The Seven Angels", or Theocracy's "I Am") and this one - "Mad Hatter Shine" - just drags. Things do get a bit better with "The Gunslinger" though, which has a good Edguy vibe. Other songs that really remind me of Edguy are "Bring Me the Moon" and "Vengeance in his Mind", they're quite decent (if a bit cliched) power metal tunes. Mad Hatter sound best when they go into double-bass drum mode, like the jubilant "Face the Truth" or bonus track "Death Angel Sings" (I don't know why they put this as a bonus, it's easily better than pretty much any song on the album). A couple of other cool EUPM-style songs are "Go" and "Phantom Riders". So I guess if you're craving for some classic EUPM sound, you could easily do worse than Mad Hatter, but at the same time they don't have a lot to make them stand out from the pack. I'll be on the lookout for their second album in any case though. B+

Highlight: Death Angel Sings

Melodius Deite - Episode III: The Archangels and the Olympians: So Melodius Deite tried their hand at an Avantasia-inspired metal opera-style concept album, and the result (as expected) is quite messy. Most of the "Saint ---" songs are neoclassical powerhouses and as always Melodius Deite are instrumentally excellent with an abundance of virtuoso guitar and keyboard solos. Vocally the main guy also ain't half bad (though his attempts at sounding more 'operatic' fall flat). "Saint Gabriel" and "Saint Michael" in particular are great power metal tunes that would make any Galneryus fan giddy, but even in those tracks the main issue with the album becomes apparent: it becomes a chaotic jumble at parts and no single segment sticks with you afterwards. I couldn't tell you what the choruses of those two songs sounded like (or recall any memorable bit) if I hadn't re-listened to the album right before writing this. The rest of the songs border on being a cacophonous mess at times, with a bunch of different sections stitched together in an incoherent manner. Things slow down a bit in "Forever (Hades and Persephone)", but other than the nice strings there's nothing noteworthy about that song either. There's also the baffling 23-minute INSTRUMENTAL track put at the end of the album, which is a bunch of piano and ambient noises with about 5 percent of the track having any actual musical substance. Just, why? Overall the album does have at least some redeeming qualities, but suffice to say Episode II was orders of magnitude better. It appears Melodius Deite are also not immune to the curse of shitty power metal operas. B-

Highlight: Saint Gabriel

Nanowar of Steel - Stairway to Valhalla: For a parody act, Nanowar is likely as good as it gets. I won't hesitate to admit that I haven't had this much fun listening to an album in years, probably. It helps that it's more than a stupidly fun parody schtick; Nanowar actually play quality power metal. Like, "Barbie Milf Princess of the Twilight" is a legitimately enjoyable (and very faithful) tribute to Rhapsody, and the stupid lyrics only add to it. There are bands out there who'd wish they could write something this catchy, and these bunch of dudes are just fucking around and pulling it off (seemingly) effortlessly. The song also features Fabio Lione screaming "I am a barbie", so this is probably what peak power metal sounds like. Pretty much the entire album though is made out of quality tracks or stuff so dumb they're entertaining regardless. "Quest for Carrefour" is basically Blind Guardian emulation and it sounds amazing. "In the Sky" is also hilarious with the amount of times they repeat the title (I like to think they're making fun of other dumb songs like Angus McFife or something). I remember enjoying the catchiness of "Vegan Velociraptor" and "Call of Cthulhu" as well. The token ballad "...And Then I Noticed She Was a Gargoyle" is comedy gold, from the brief quote of Moonlight Shadow, to the random line from Michael Sembello's Maniac, to the singer struggling to transition into key change, I really don't think I've burst out laughing during a song before. The lyrics of "Tooth Fairy" are a riot as well. Really the entire album is great from start to finish, though not all of the songs are as entertaining or good as the high points I mentioned above. Nevertheless, I'm glad Nanowar are around to make fun of a genre that's already way too tacky. This gets the top mark from me, zero regrets. A

Highlight: Barbie, Milf Princess of the Twilight

Novareign - Legends: I don't know why I'm including this, but I spent some time listening to it so might as well. I remember getting extremely hyped by their teaser, thinking it was gonna be some Dragonforce-like clone in the style of early Cellador, but the album wasn't quite what I expected. The Dragonforce guitars are definitely here all right, from the flashy solos to the incessant doodling, but they're not centered around a coherently structured song and as a result barely anything here is catchy or memorable. Also my god are these vocals awful. They're not endearingly bad like in Cellador's debut, or amusingly bad like in Parsifal's debut, they're just ... bad, and they detract a lot from every song. Just listen to this dude ruining the chorus to "Call on the Storm" with his lifeless, tuneless delivery. It was a mediocre chorus to begin with, but his singing makes it sound like a joke. Most of the songs here are pretty high up on the intensity scale (though other than the dragonforcey guitars, there's not much of a comparison to be had with Dragonforce) and a lot of the songs are way too long - there's maybe 3 five minute songs? Everything else is about 9 or 10 minutes long. They're naturally aiming for the progressive angle, so most of the longer tracks are either jumbled disjoint sections stitched together (so that you can instantly forget a song after hearing it) or average verses / choruses interspersed between long solo sections. It's all very technical and well-played, but the end product is so unsatisfying to listen to that I'm almost annoyed I don't like this. I did in fact like a couple of songs; "Beyond the Cold" has a pretty uplifting chorus and it's the closest thing to the power metal stuff I expected to hear. "Black as the Dead Night" is pretty fun too, despite its length, its fantastic intro makes up for the rest of the song. Everything else just sounds bad or plain tiring. I feel like this was mostly directed towards the progressive-loving side of metal, and I'm definitely not in that crowd, so I feel kinda bad shitting on an album that just wasn't for me. Vocals aside, these guys are pretty competent. But yeah, Legends was definitely not enjoyable. C+

Highlight: Beyond the Cold

I'm cutting things off at this point, the rest of the albums are on Part 2 of this post (click here).

submitted by jasonk12 to PowerMetal [link] [comments]

2018.12.24 19:33 ThatParanoidPenguin I've been curating a list (with a lengthy description for each song) of the most overlooked, underrated, slept on tracks since 2018 began. If you're looking for new music to listen to, please check this out.

Here's the Spotify Playlist!

Hello everyone! If you're unfamiliar with these posts, I spent each month of 2017 compiling songs that went under the subreddit's radar, featuring music that I believed needed more exposure. I wrote about each track, diving into to what made them worthy of being on the list.
I decided not to continue this series in 2018 because of personal obligations (it does take a lot of time to listen through music and write about it), but today I return to you with a holiday present.
I present, the most slept on pop songs of 2018.
I don't have as much rigid criteria this time around, but all of the songs here are ones that I felt barely got any exposure on the sub, some reaching little upvotes or others not being posted about at all. You may not enjoy every single one of these tracks, but I hope you may find something you will like.
Without further ado, here are 2018's picks:
Frankie Cosmos - Jesse
Jesse is the lead single of the New York City songwriter’s third album, Vessel. Earlier releases had Frankie embracing a more jangly and abstract shade of twee pop. Vessel keeps that same carelessness and intimacy, but opts for more robust instrumentation, with heavier emphasis on guitar, louder drums, and a whole lot more energy in general. The song runs on like a conflicted conscience as Frankie finds herself in a state of good ol’ 20-something year-old disillusionment, and resolve never quite happens, but I suppose that is the point, isn’t it?
EDEN - float
If you’re looking for leftfield pop with genuinely interesting production, look no further than EDEN. The Irish musician writes, produces, and performs all of his music, and his debut, Vertigo, proved to be one of the most solid releases of 2018. Float is one of the most visceral tracks on the album, with crashes of glass, mechanical bleeps, and dissonant effects all gracing the instrumental. It’s downtempo with a twist, feeling bleak at times and hopeful at others. EDEN’s vocals perfectly compliment the stripped down beat, and it’s definitely one of the highlights from the album.
Au/Ra - Panic Room
One of the most exciting voices in alternative pop is Au/Ra, a 16 year old singer from Ibiza, Spain. Her brand of melodrama has garnered her quite the following, and quite a bit more followers since I first covered her debut single, Kicks, early last year. Panic Room, her most successful single to date, has a massive brooding chorus, a dark instrumental, and a lot of uneasy negative space. It’s an infectious track that would be enjoyable for people who are into Halsey and Billie Eilish, and hopefully she finds success in the US.
Mija - Notice Me
Notice Me is one of my favorite tracks of 2018. It’s really hard to pin down what genre it exists in, borrowing from the airy abstraction of ambient DIY rock artists like Vagabon, the sensibilities of indie pop artists like Little Dragon, and the dreamlike qualities of EDM artists like Jai Wolf. The product is a weird polygamous marriage between the three, with a single verse followed by three separate instrumentals that keep the listener in a complete and utter trance.
Ravyn Lenae - Computer Luv (feat. Steve Lacy)
Ravyn Lenae is simply the most underrated R&B artist in 2018. Her EP, Crush, represented a gorgeous effort in making a splash, and there’s serious Kali Uchis vibes for those who love her brand of free-flowing, cozy delivery. Featuring Steve Lacy both on production (for the entire EP, no less) and vocals, the two craft a song so undeniably sexy yet jam-packed with insecurity. They both lament a relationship that doesn’t have to live over a screen, and the song ends with a fitting and personal voicemail to Ravyn about hoping to see her in person soon.
Family of the Year - Hold Me Down
I’ll get this out of the way. Do I think this is the best track of the year? Far from it. But I will say it is beyond catchy. It’s inoffensive indie pop which isn’t in fashion in 2018, but if this monster of a track dropped half a decade ago, this would’ve been in every damn car commercial. It’s feel-good, simple pop for dancing around, but the lyrics are surprisingly great. There’s a lot of internal rhyme, an infectious flow, and a solid instrumental, and it won’t be long before you find yourself humming along to the cute hook.
Madilyn Bailey - Tetris
Looking for a new pop girl? Here’s one. Madilyn Bailey is another YouTube cover queen who is taking a stab at her own career, and Tetris is her newest single. For those into synthpop, check this out because not only is a megabop with an infinitely catchy chorus, the production on this gives serious Sabrina CarpenteAllie X vibes. With a hint of video game bleeps and bloops, this is a solid pop track with a lot of replay value.
Twin Shadow - Saturdays (feat. HAIM)
Twin Shadows’ new album had some forgettable tracks, but this HAIM-featuring 80s love letter wasn’t one of them. With a pulsating, dancey beat that the Brooklyn songwriter is known for, there’s a ton of feel-good energy here. The chorus is amazing and the instrumental is just a perfectly sunny vibe. HAIM makes a brief, but welcome appearance, and the whole track is just one big ball of synthpop nostalgia.
Yuno - No Going Back
No Going Back is simply the best kept secret of 2018. Combining elements of Tame Impala-esque delivery, hip hop-inspired production, and hints of indie rock, it’s rare I feel so entranced by a song on first listen. This sunny masterpiece gives me the same feeling I got when first listening to Jai Paul - there’s something so gorgeous about the spacey, late-2000s synths (Grizzly Bear in particular) combined with the strong, commanding percussion. Top that off with Yuno’s stunning falsetto, and you have a track that I found trouble not leaving on replay when it dropped earlier this year.
Jack River - Ballroom
A friend recommended this to me earlier this year, and this Australian pop singer has quite the career ahead of her. Ballroom is a bombastic, nostalgic bop, and rarely do I hear such an honest bottling of bliss. “All these people in the room, and I just wanna be alone with you,” she reveals, and you can really hear this as the backing soundtrack for the climax of a coming-of-age high school prom, and as the final chorus drops, confetti falls. All is well.
Little Dragon - Best Friends
Little Dragon continues to be the most underrated figure in indie pop. The A side on a split lead single release, it’s gotta be one of the most lush songs the group has ever recorded. The instrumentation is so brimming with life, complimenting Yukimi’s delivery quite well. The song tells a story of lost friendship through distance, and the dissatisfying process of meeting again later and feeling like total strangers. Finishing off with a wistful outro and longing instrumental, the track is easily one of the most overlooked releases of the year.
Gin Wigmore - Girl Gang
Can I spare you a girl power anthem in these trying times? Gin Wigmore gives us sass, crass, and brass with this feminist bop. She bites at the patriarchy, and features some illustrations of influential women in the video (including icons like Yayoi Kusama, Marie Curie, and Malala Yousafzai, among others). The song itself is a confident and defiant proof of effortless girl power, with some punchy lyrics to boot. Sure makes me want to join the girl gang (not to be confused with the Gucci Gang).
Shamir - Caballero
Ditching his pop roots for indie rock was a decision that may be dizzying for some, but for Shamir, he dived right in. His career may have failed to reach the numerical heights that it was poised to reach, but personally, he’s never been more raw. Caballero is a forgotten B-side off of a release that never reached his 2018 record Resolution, but it’s one of the catchiest songs he’s ever made, a perfect combination of his pop roots and rock style.
Haux - Cologne
This tender electro-folk track gives serious Maggie Rogers/shallou vibes, and boxes with the best of the gentle indie pop I’ve heard. The pale cube appearing on a sandy beach on Something To Remember, their EP’s cover speaks more about this track than I ever could. A friend suggested it to me after finding it while sad on Spotify’s New Releases and I’m glad I got to hear it.
Rebecca & Fiona - Need You
Rebecca & Fiona aren’t exactly a popheads staple, but they’ve been releasing unorthodox electropop tracks for a minute now. Need You is one of their highest highs, the lead single from The Art of Being A Girl. It’s dancey, but not overly so, hedging its bets on a piano that gives way for one of the nicest drops of the year. If you’re here for simple independent scandipop from a producing duo, this is for you.
Chaos Chaos - Pink Politics
If you only know Chaos Chaos for Rick & Morty, you should change that. The last single before their newest self-titled record, Chaos Chaos return with some The Knife-esque brilliance. Pink Politics is a track written the day after the 2016 election, and it shows. The song may sound poppy and happy, but with lyrics like “is it natural to feel this unnatural?” there’s severe pain on display here.
Princess Nokia - Flowers And Rope
I have a love-hate relationship with emo rap. There’s legitimate merit in the concept and blending of the two genres, but oftentimes it leaves a lot to be desired. This may be a controversial inclusion as a lot of people were put off by Princess Nokia’s direction with A GIRL CRIED RED, but I really appreciate it. She substitutes her usual hunger with a more monotone, autotuned vocal inflection throughout the EP, and there’s a lot of repetition, “edgy” lyricism, and poppy choruses. In my opinion, songs like Morphine and At The Top are some of the most interesting rap tracks of 2018, with flows so infectious they’ve stuck with me months later. The opening track, Flowers And Rope, might be the poppiest she’s ever been. It’s kind of a whiplash from traditional pop, but give it a chance. There’s something oddly endearing about her melancholic delivery, and the production snaps with a ton of percussion quirks and vocal layering. It’s exhausting for a song just over two minutes, but it works.
Louis the Child - Better Not (feat. Wafia)
Buckle the fuck up, kids. You want a bop? A pop track that, if the world was a perfect place (shoutout Lorde), would’ve not only smashed, but became an anthem? How about an EDM track that is both punchy and smooth? Female vocals that dazzle and sparkle? What if I told you 2018’s catchiest track already dropped, and nearly everyone missed it? Well, it’s the truth. While popheads was too busy lamenting the early 2010s, Louis The Child blessed us with this masterpiece. Better Not is a song that feels both massive and chill, and while repetitive, it never gets old, instead becoming a complete and utter earworm I’m happy to let crawl around. First of all, the production is so physical, warbling in a unique way that only Louis The Child can nail. Wafia’s vocals fit the track so well it’s really hard to imagine anyone else on it. And honestly, I’ve probably played this track more than most other pop track in 2018 and it just never feels stale.
Qveen Herby - SADE IN THE 90s
Qveen Herby really deserves more love in this sub. For those who aren’t acquainted, this is Amy from Karmin, and most of these tracks she releases are produced by Nick, the other half of Karmin. This is one of the most seamless and catchy rap/pop combos I’ve heard, and it’s extremely clear Amy hasn’t forgotten a lick of what made Karmin’s hooks so monumental. The result is one of my favorite hooks of 2018, a smooth and suave stream of consciousness that goes up against the best hooks Karmin has given us.
Chantel Jeffries - Wait (feat. Offset & Vory)
Chantel Jeffries produced and co-wrote this tropical club jam that quickly grew to be one of my favorite guilty pleasures of 2018. It’s simple, but it works well. I know Offset features are probably the bane of popheads at this point, but much like the Slide feature, he fits rather well on the instrumental. The whole track is pretty laid back, and while it’s not breaking much new ground, it’s easily one of the more enjoyable hip hop and dance mashups I’ve heard this year.
SSION - 1980-99 (feat. Sky Ferreira & Patty Schemel)
Okay, let’s just get it out of the way. We’re here for Sky Ferreira. However, you come for Sky and stay for the great production and wild breakdown that defines this track. And more about that breakdown - the track kinda falls apart, pulling and pushing before a final monster of a chorus. Sky shines on the rock-electronic hybrid of a track, and the song finishes with a muted conversation, a haphazard rendering of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.
Kyle - Babies (feat. Alessia Cara)
KYLE’s most recent album got little attention earlier this year, and it’s a shame because it’s a genuinely fun and well-produced pop rap album. This highlight with Alessia Cara is a late night anthem, and both have more chemistry than I would imagine in this unlikely collab. As expected, Alessia steals the show, as the best moments of the song is her verse over the drum-led beat. As a whole song, though, it’s probably one of the nicer light hip hop tracks I’ve heard this year. They both work together quite well, and I wonder why this track hasn’t gotten more exposure.
Phantogram - Someday
New York indie pop band Phantogram released a double single this year with proceeds going to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. The A side of this release is Someday, a somber but stellar track that feels like an evolution of their last release, Three. A tease of what’s to come, Someday is easily defined by its wonderful horns and lovely percussion, which is always expected from Phantogram. Saturday is also worth giving a listen, but I’ve found myself gravitating to this track a bit more, and that’s because it’s probably one of the best thesis statements of what embodies Phantogram. Melancholia, hip hop beats, and brilliant loops.
Chad Valley - See-Through
This track from ex-chillwave artist Chad Valley is probably one of my favorite obscure tracks of the year. It’s total Forever 21 pop, but in the best way. The synths are infectious, the chorus is soothing, and the whole song just hits a vibe that I can’t explain but it just feels so dreamy. I saw Chad live earlier this year and this track was a lot of fun to hear live, it’s super dancey and entrancing.
Maty Noyes - Lava Lamps (feat. Beekwilder)
Maty Noyes is kinda the alt pop girl that never was, and In My Mind was the smash that never led to anything bigger. It’s a shame, because her brand of pop is so bold and wild it’s a shame to imagine if a song like this smashed the radio. And what a song this is. With a vintage-like playful instrumental, Maty and Beekwilder trade lines on this infectious track that oozes groove. Maty knows how to write a hook, and the one on this track is nothing short of a damn party. It takes a while to reach after the opening of the song, but it’s worth it.
Totally Enormous Extinct Dinosaurs - Don’t You Forget About Me
Totally Enormous Extinct Dinosaurs are one of the quietest electronic acts. It’s a shame, because in 2012 he released one of the coolest albums of the year, Trouble. On one of the first songs he’s released in years, Orlando teases release again and again on this slow burn. But when it does explode and the beat crashes in, it feels more than worth it. The funky instrumental is a fantastic evolution for him, and it’s one of the best drops I’ve heard in indie pop since the famed Dance Yrself Clean drop. It’s the slow dance at the end of the night, and with a track as intimate as this one, I don’t want the night to end.
88rising & NIKI - Warpaint
88rising, if you don’t know by now, is the premiere platform for Asian hip hop and pop in America, housing such artists as Rich Brian, Joji, and Keith Ape. However, one of the lesser-known artists on the record label is NIKI, and this song is a chief example of why I consider their lack of popularity on the sub a travesty. NIKI has a few appearances on the 88rising group debut album Head In The Clouds, but she really shines on this solo track, a bold and catchy pop track that could put her head to head with any pop track on the radio today. Hopefully she has a far-reaching career ahead of her, because I’m poised to hear more.
Swanky Tunes - Day By Day (feat. LP)
New York singer LP collaborates with the Russian dance duo Swanky Tunes, and the result is a bouncy dance track that suits her stylish Florence Welsh-esque sound. It’s definitely way dancier than her usual music, but it jams, and part of that is the wonderful drop that takes a note from LP’s playbook, perfectly fitting her style.
Young the Giant - Superposition
You may not have heard a Young The Giant song in a while, but I’m here to tell you why that’s a mistake. The group trended pretty poppy with their sophomore release, Mind Over Matter, and don’t quite get their footing until 2016’s Home of the Strange. However, Mirror Master feels like the band is finally comfortable, and the second single released before the album, Superposition, is both quirky enough to fit with their debut, while expanding on what it means to be a Young The Giant song. It’s got all the facets in place to be a radio sleeper hit, and hopefully it does.
Kilo Kish - Void
Best known for her features on Vince Staples tracks, Kilo Kish has done quite a bit of innovative solo work. Her mothe EP that recently released is what I consider to be the best EP of the year, a swirling and nauseating masterclass of cohesion. Void is as violent and jarring as its stunning music video, pulsating and pouncing with a shrill industrial beat that increasingly speeds up until it finally gives release.
Jillian Jacqueline - Priorities
My personal favorite track off of Pennsylvania pop-country singer Jillian Jacqueline’s Side B EP, a continuation of her stellar Side A EP released last year. It’s a feel-good track that blends the best of pop and country, and it’s clear that Jacqueline can write quite the hook. For fans of Kelsea Ballerini or Maren Morris, definitely check Jillian Jacqueline out.
Lennon Stella - Bad
You may remember Lennon Stella from Nashville, but here she is to reinvent herself with a catchy pop song. The Hotline Bling-esque track is lowkey but high quality, stripped down and minimalist, allowing her to highlight her lovely voice, which compliments this cute record quite well. I would watch out for this one, she might do very well for herself.
Mr Little Jeans - Unfollow
Mr Little Jeans has always been the queen of lazy, hazy slow pop, and Unfollow is no exception. With a whisper-heavy pre-chorus, she marries together downtempo pop and trap in a smooth way that makes this track reminiscent of a lot of the slower tracks on Ariana Grande’s Sweetener. However, instead of the Pharrell-led production, we have more lush and atmospheric interaction with Monica’s dreamy vocals.
Steve Aoki - Our Love Glows (feat. Lady Antebellum)
How’s this for a collab? Steve Aoki’s third iteration of his Neon Future album series has quite the list of odd collabs, from Blink-182 to BTS to Bill Nye (no, that’s not a joke). However, the real standout of this album is a track called Our Love Glows. Most of us haven’t heard from country pop icons Lady Antebellum since Need You Now, but you don’t need much context to enjoy this sugary pop song. Aoki’s production shines here, but the real star is Hillary’s bubbly delivery, proving to be a bit more versatile than we ever gave her credit for.
submitted by ThatParanoidPenguin to popheads [link] [comments]

2017.04.21 18:17 portlane Death Notices for Friday, April 21 2017

Clark County (Columbian):
Brandsma, Gordon Dean, 62, Ridgefield, died April 18, 2017. Layne’s Funeral Home, 360-687-3143. Butts, Hazel L., 93, Vancouver, died April 18, 2017. Cascadia Cremation & Burial Services, 360-213-2060. Mies, Victoria Jo-Ann, 51, Kelso, died April 16, 2017. Cascadia Cremation & Burial Services, 360-213-2060. Tangen-Beaudoin, Susan Ann, 74, Vancouver, died April 17, 2017. Cascadia Cremation & Burial Services, 360-213-2060. Wilson, Paul L., 86, Vancouver, died April 19, 2017. Cascadia Cremation & Burial Services, 360-213-2060. 
Portland (Oregonian):
Eleanor Reed Brauner
Aug. 24, 1932 - April 12, 2017
Eleanor Reed Brauner passed away in her sleep, Wednesday, April 12, 2017. She was a woman of fierce faith, deep love, and incredible strength who lived and died on her own terms. Her quick wit, gentle humor, and utter detachment from guilt made her an incredible role model, friend, and mother. She will be deeply missed.
Ellen was an intelligent, well-read woman who passed along her joy of reading to her children and grandchildren. She received a bachelor's degree in English from Cornell University in 1954 and earned Master's degrees from Wright State University and San Francisco Theological Seminary. She was one of many pioneers who normalized women's involvement in higher education.
Ellen and her husband of 62 years, Ed Brauner valued community engagement, leading them to many charitable endeavors, especially Habitat for Humanity. In Hillsboro, a Habitat development was named Brauner Brook in their honor. Their commitment to social justice is inspired in part by their faith, and has been instilled in their children and grandchildren. Ellen was very active at Sunset Presbyterian Church where she was an elder and had several leadership roles.
At the center of Ellen's life was her family, a rambunctious group of caring, quirky people who loved her beyond words. She is survived by her husband, Ed; her brother, Frank; her children, Cara, Bill, and Jeanne; and her 10 grandchildren. She lives on in the work, passion, imagination, and creativity that she inspired in them all.
Ellen's life will be celebrated at 11 a.m., Friday, May 12, 2017, by friends and family who love her at Sunset Presbyterian Church. Memorial gifts may be made to Willamette West Habitat for Humanity or Sunset Presbyterian Church.
Please sign the online guest book at
David 'Dave' John Hanson
May 8, 1950 - Jan. 4, 2017
David "Dave" John Hanson passed away Jan. 4, 2017, he was 66 years old.
Dave grew up in Milwaukie and graduated from Rex Putnam High School in 1968. He attended Lewis and Clark College on a football scholarship and then transferred to Portland State University where he graduated.
Dave spent the majority of his adult years in the real estate sales and appraisal business, where he was well respected by his associates and clients.
In 1991, he married Marilee Kleffner, and they lived in the Portland area as well as Tucson, Ariz. and finally Keizer, Ore. until their divorce in 2015.
Dave was a gentle and kind soul who loved to make people laugh and he will be deeply missed by his sisters, Karen Jacobson and Valerie Thompson; his brother, Steve Hanson, (and their spouses); and his many nieces, nephews, cousins and friends. He was preceded in death by his father, John Hanson; mother, Verna Hanson; and his faithful dog, Suzi.
Come join us for a celebration of Dave's life at 2 p.m., Saturday, May 6, 2017 at the Milwaukie Senior Center.
In lieu of flowers, donations may be made to the "American Society for Suicide Prevention", or to the "Patrick Risha CTE Awareness Foundation".
Please sign the online guest book at
John 'Jack' William Heft
Jan. 20, 1925 - April 12, 2017
John "Jack" William Heft, 92, of Milwaukie passed away peacefully with family by his side April 12, 2017. He was born Jan. 20, 1925, in Vancouver B.C., to Casimer William Heft and Grace Elizabeth Hovey. John attended West Linn High School and then enlisted in the Marine Corps and served during World War II on a ship in the South Pacific. He worked in the Neon sign industry as a GlassbloweTube-bender most of his adult life. John was a charter member of the Milwaukie Elks, a member of the American Legion, and a Mason for 60+ years. In addition to being a loving and dedicated father and grandfather he enjoyed fishing and hunting. He was preceded in death by his loving wife of 70 years, Flora Heft; and is survived by his two children, Susan Gatto (Anthony) and John Heft Jr.; six grandchildren; seven great-grandchildren; one great-great-grandchild; and many nieces and nephews. A funeral Mass celebrating his life will be held at 12 p.m., Tuesday, April 25, 2017 at St. John the Baptist Catholic Church in Milwaukie. In lieu of flowers, please donate to the
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. Arrangements entrusted to Peake Funeral Chapel in Milwaukie.
Please sign the online guest book at
Joseph Inglesby
Feb. 18, 1928 - April 19, 2017
Joe is survived by his three children, Jeffrey and Trent Inglesby and Megan Cooper; and his five grandchildren, Kolby, Rhett, Darby, Evan and Drew.
A funeral will be at 1 p.m., Thursday, April 27, 2017 at Bateman Carroll Funeral Home, 520 W. Powell Blvd. in Gresham. Visitation will be from 1-5 p.m., Wednesday, April 26 at the funeral home. A graveside service will be at 10 a.m., Friday, April 28, 2017 at Mt. Calvary Cemetery in Portland. For more information please visit:
Please sign the online guest book at
Kathryn McCall Jorgenson
June 15, 1963 - April 16, 2017
Kathryn "Katy" McCall Jorgenson was a 6th generation Oregonian who was born and raised in Portland with family and friends in abundance. Katy passed away April 16, 2017 at home after a courageous 7-month battle with cancer, surrounded by family. She was 53.
Katy graduated from Lincoln High School in 1981 and went on to study Political Science at the University of Puget Sound for three years and received her degree from Portland State University in 1985. She would tell you that the accomplishments she was most proud of happened only after marrying Jeffrey Lee Jorgenson in June of 1994.
Being a loving mother to Chase and Sophie was her proudest achievement. Her children, family and friends knew that she took no greater joy than providing unwavering support through the challenges and successes of a well-lived life. Her house was always brimming with energy from friends of the children as well as adult friends aplenty. She was a generous friend and a spectacular hostess. Katy delighted in flower arranging and interior decoration, often volunteering to help friends and family. After the death of her mother, Katy took on the role of matriarch with grace and dignity; continuing the tradition of "Sunday night dinners" for years as well as ensuring that the entire family be present for Thanksgiving and Christmas holiday celebrations. Anyone lucky enough to be sitting next to her would most likely laugh until their sides hurt. Katy loved spending the summer months at their cozy cabin in Black Butte Ranch which she lovingly restored. She could be seen most days on the ranch riding her bike with her beloved dog Henry running behind. Katy has left behind a legacy of love, laughter, empathy and a generosity of spirit that knows no bounds.
Katy cherished volunteering at her children's schools: Mary Rieke Elementary, Robert Gray and West Sylvan Middle Schools, as well Wilson and Lincoln High Schools. In 2010 she traveled to Zimbabwe with her sister and brother-in-law as a volunteer with Operation of Hope where she became a favorite of the pediatric patients and nurses in the Burn Unit.
Katy was a proud member of Alpha Phi Sorority, Waverley Country Club, the Multnomah Athletic Club, and the Racquet Club. She had been an integral member of a Pitch Group for 30 years. She was passionate about protecting the environment and supported the Environmental Defense Fund and Planned Parenthood with pride.
She will be missed deeply. Her mother, Carol Sawyer McCall, preceded Katy in death. She is survived by her adoring husband, Jeffrey; children, Chase and Sophie; parents, Robert and Dinah McCall; brothers, Calder and Edgar McCall (Rosa Comas); sister, Leslie Shoemaker (Peter); and more nieces; nephews; cousins; aunts; and an uncles than you can count. She will also be dearly missed by her two puppies, Milo and Otis. Her constant companion, Henry preceded her in death by one month.
A memorial service will be held at 11 a.m., Monday, April 24, 2017 at Trinity Episcopal Cathedra with a reception immediately following at Waverley Country Club.
The family would like to extend their heartfelt thanks to all of the doctors, nurses and staff at both Emanuel Hospital and OHSU, friends and family that gave so selflessly of their time, kindness, guidance and support during the last seven months.
In lieu of flowers, donations may be made to the Hopewell House and the Dougy Center.
Please sign the online guest book at
William Le Roy 'Bill' Keys
July 23, 1924 - April 12, 2017
Entered into eternal life April 12, 2017 at the age of 92 years. Bill was born in Astoria, July 23, 1924. He was the loving son of Frank and Pearl Keys. He is survived by his two children, Craig Keys and Myrna Dysle; husband, Vern; and his adoring granddaughter, Amy and her husband, James Struck. We were also lucky enough to acquire a new step family when dad married Mary Steveko in 2007. Bill is also survived by stepdaughter, Annette Steveko, her son, Nate and husband, Tim Frary. Also by another sister, Suzie and her husband, Steve Crossette.
Bill went to school in Westport but didn't quite make it through high school as he ran off and joined the Army at age 15. Even though he didn't get through high school, he learned many skills growing up on the Columbia River that would serve him well, not only in the Army but later in life. He learned things like how to hunt and track Elk in the mountains, how to trap and skin muskrats, and mink, how to throw a baseball (he played catcher for just about all the town teams in and around Astoria and Westport), where to find and pick huckleberries, how to use a Kayak in the many Colombia River swamps, how to split wood, cut Cedar Shakes and it seemed like a million other things we could never quite figure out how he learned.
Anyway, Bill joined the Army at age 15 and was having a great time until they found out he wasn't 18 yet, not even close. Bill had fudged three years on his age and got sent home as soon as they found out.
In 1943 he married Aldean Dodson, went back in the Army, on his way to fight the Germans in Northern Italy. His wife stayed behind in St. Johns and worked for Oregon Shipyards all during the war as a welder.
Meanwhile, up in Northern Italy dad is busy winning Purple Hearts and the Silver Star and unfortunately getting worked over by a German machine gun pretty good. He got hit near Bologna, Italy after marching the whole length of Italy from Anzio to Bologna.
Dad survived the war and came home, though the ever cheerful Army doctors told our mom he probably wouldn't make it much past 30 as he'd been severely wounded in the stomach and lungs. They weren't entirely sure he would hold together for more than a few years.
So things were going well for the Keys family in the early 1950s. We were now living in S.E. Portland and my sister, Myrna and I were just entering our first years of school at Buckman Grade School. We had survived the Vanport Flood of 1948 in which our folks pretty much lost everything except their car and us kids.
Dad worked on the fire boat for Portland Fire for over 29 years and was co-inventor of a method for squirting colored water during the Rose Festival and other events instead of plain old brown river water.
It has often been said that no generation is as "spoiled" as the generation following a great military victory. We were blessed. All of us! Our house rang with the sounds of Elvis, Little Richard, The Statesman Quartet, Bob Wills & The Texas Playboys, The Ink Spots and we also enjoyed great food and good television.
Instead of slowing down after the war dad seemed to speed up. He coached baseball teams for our school and for our church Portland Foursquare which had two little league teams. He was Cub Scout Master for the whole scouting program at our school and also taught Boy Scout classes in First Aid and Woodcraft. He drove the church bus to many outings for us kids. The Beach, Mt. Hood, Camp Crestview. Like I said, we were "Spoiled".
Dad worked more jobs and did more different kinds of things than anybody else I can think of. I gave up counting at about 35. His earliest jobs were things like "Picking" Chittem Bark for medicine when he was about 6-10 years old. Picking and selling Huckleberries (at about the same age). Trapping Muskrat and selling the furs to the Sears & Roebuck buyer that came through town often. His later jobs were running a Gas Station which he was part owner of, or selling and delivering Toro Lawn Mowers. Suffice it to say he had many very wide areas of interest and expertise.
In later years mom retired from United Airlines and since her and dad could fly free on Mom's passes they acquired two time share condos at Waikiki and spent a month each year doing the hula for the next 30 years. What a time they had!
I had the privilege a few years ago of accompanying my dad to an Army reunion back in Italy where he had won a Silver Star. About 3-4 Mayors of Little towns around Bologna showed up and gave dad a key to their city. At times it seemed dad could almost speak Italian.
Well, my sister Myrna and I once tried to figure out all the different organizations, charities, lodges and Veterans groups and we never could name them all. We'll just say that he and mom led very active lives and dad didn't die at 30 like the doctors predicted.
Later in life dad married Mary Steveko and although she died about three years later, her and her family became not only our step family but some of our best friends. So thanks Annette, Nate, Tim, Suzie and Steve for all your support and friendship and for sharing your mother with us.
Please come and join us for a celebration of Bills life at 2:30 p.m., Sunday, June 4, 2017 at The Troutdale House 411 East Historic Columbia River Hwy, Troutdale, OR 97060. Arrangements entrusted to Peake Funeral Chapel, Milwaukie.
Please sign the online guest book at
Audrey Gale (Jones) LaBrie
Aug. 2, 1938 - April 15, 2017
Gale, as she preferred to be called, passed away in Carlsbad, Calif., from complications of Alzheimer's disease. She was born Aug. 2, 1938 in Oxford, Neb., to Velta "Ted" and Dorothy Jones. When she was a child, the family moved to Hillsboro, where Gale grew up and attended local schools.
She graduated with a teaching degree from Lewis & Clark college in Portland.
Prior to her marriage, she taught at American dependent schools in Bonn and Kaiserslautern, Germany, and Sasebo, Japan, and later in San Francisco.
She and her husband, Norm, a State Department foreign service officer, were married in August 1968, and from then on lived in many places, including Quito, Ecuador, Vienna, Austria, and Madrid Spain. After Norm's retirement, the couple moved to Carlsbad in 1988.
Gale was a quiet and easy-going person who easily made friends everywhere she went. She enjoyed playing tennis, taking walks with friends, playing solitaire on her computer, and reading a good novel. She took up painting while in Quito. She particularly enjoyed cruises to Hawaii and Mexico.
Gale was predeceased by her parents; and younger sister, Kathleen. She leaves behind her husband; son, Marc; and a niece, Jerri; and nephew, Scott, in Oregon.
Please sign the online guest book at
Vernon Lew Turner
July 7, 1961 - Apr. 12, 2017
Vernon, 55, passed away peacefully April 12, 2017, after a battle with lung Cancer.
Born to Cleo Turner and Mildred Green. Vernon graduated from Madison High School, he also attended Mt. Hood Community College. He worked at US Bank as a Loan Officer.
Vernon is survived by his two beautiful daughters, Brianna and Aaliyah.
There will be no memorial services we had a celebration of Life of Service just days before his passing.
See full Obituary at
Please sign the online guest book at
submitted by portlane to deadpeoplepdx [link] [comments]

2017.03.29 15:54 MatthewMir The Essential Wrestlemania Match Collection: The best and most significant Wrestlemania matches (Part 3 - 23 to 32)

Hey wrestling fans, I thought I’d post this earlier because if I posted it later this week it wouldn’t any attention due to all the commotion of Wrestlemania Week.. As you know Wreddit I make a retrospective list of matches from a certain superstar, but in this case we’re looking at our third and final part of the Wrestlemania Matches. Over the last couple of months I made several lists of Essential Career Matches. You can either access them all through this link or here:
Essential Lists
2000 - 2004 2005 - 2010 2011 - 2016 John Cena The Undertaker Triple H
Chris Jericho Randy Orton Dolph Ziggler Seth Rollins CM Punk AJ Styles
The Miz Shawn Michaels Eddie Guerrero Steve Austin The Rock Dean Ambrose
Kurt Angle Brock Lesnar Survivor Series Edge Batista Ric Flair
Mick Foley Bret Hart 2016 Cesaro Monday Night Raw Roman Reigns
Royal Rumble Cody Rhodes Daniel Bryan Kevin Owens Chris Benoit Sami Zayn
Christian Wrestlemania (1-11) Wrestlemania (12-22)
This week we’re doing the third and final part of my three-part series on The Grandest Stage of Them All, ,The Showcase of the Immortals, The Show of Shows, The Granddaddy of them All, The Greatest Spectacle in Sports Entertainment and of course The Ultimate Thrill ride - Wrestlemania (Specifically Wrestlemania 23 to Wrestlemania 32)
These collection of matches comes from Dave Meltzer (his matches feature his ratings for matches rated 3* Stars and matches that I believe that are also good too, I’ll try add the ratings to those matches as well.
If you have any suggestions for matches that could be included simply privately message me or add a comment on this and I will considerate it. Please read the entire list before commenting saying I’ve forgotten a match.. Also since a few people have commented on these posts saying 'stop throwing lists at us with no information' so on a few matches I’ve added a little bit of a backstory for new fans/fans of who haven’t seen the matches, some match details do contain spoilers, so you have been warned, but really if you’re getting up in arms about a match spoiler from several years ago that’s not my problem. I have also tried to add a link to each match as well; videos come from WWE Network, YouTube and Daily Motion. It’s hard finding most of his non-WWE matches, I apologise for that – if you can find links for matches listed simply comment and I’ll add them to this list. Lastly, and most importantly, I used Meltzer’s ratings as a guide but make sure to make your own opinion (or rating in this case) about the matches. Just cause he gives something a 3, doesn't mean that it isn't a 5 to you! If you do not like this list because I’ve based it off ratings, that is not my problem. Alright, now lets start the list:
Wrestlemania 23:
Wrestlemania 24:
Wrestlemania 25:
Wrestlemania 26:
Wrestlemania 27:
Wrestlemania 28:
Wrestlemania 29:
Wrestlemania 30:
Wrestlemania 31:
Wrestlemania 32:
I hope people enjoyed this series, I really put a lot of effort into it because it was a three week series. However, I’m afraid I’ve got some bad news - this will be my last ‘Essential Match Post’ for a while. For the last 9 months I’ve made these posts every single week purely as a hobby to enjoy some good old wrestling and use my knowledge of wrestling to inform others on wrestlers/events that they’ve never heard of. When I first started my first post was allowing causals to get up to speed with the last 5 years of wrestling, from there I got messages asking to look at specific wrestlers and then of course events. It’s been really fun to do this; most people are fun to interact with on here but I think it’s time to take a break. I wanna thank everyone who upvotes on these posts instead of just downvoting it as soon as they're posted. I think if/when I return to doing these essential posts I’ll probably do one a month or only rare occasions. I still want to do a Summerslam Essential Post to complete my ‘Big 4 PPV Essential Lists’, but that’ll be saved for August time. If there's other wrestler's you'd like me to do in the future, feel free to message me or comment on this. A few last things, I hope people enjoy Wrestlemania this Sunday (Monday for me in Australia) and just be a fan of the show overall, and lastly I want to thank all the mods on SquaredCircle for all your help with these, I bet you’s are all sick of me weekly, constantly annoying you to see if I can get these post stickied. Looking at yous all, Pudie tme001 inmynothing killhimalready Slyguy46 P4NK-TP
submitted by MatthewMir to SquaredCircle [link] [comments]

2016.05.27 13:46 brdman40 Raw/Smackdown Draft Prospect Big Board (Long Post)

I'm a huge NFL/NBA draft and WWE nerd, so I figured I'd combine them both and make a "Mel Kiper-esque" prospect big board and top 5 by position for a figurative brand-split draft. Tried to keep it business casual kayfabe in that I am acting like I am running a brand where TV ratings, potential, sustained success for your organization, roster talent, making money, compelling matchups and locker room decorum matter the most.

Top 30 Superstar Prospects Overall
  1. John Cena 6'1" 250lbs 39 Years Old -Even at 39, John Cena continues to be the standard bearer of sports entertainment. His unquestioned work ethic is only surpassed by the massive crossover appeal he has enjoyed for the better part of a decade. A natural leader, Cena is the quintessential 5 tool guy: Ability-Look-Charisma-Toughness-Loyalty
  2. Seth Rollins 6'1" 217lbs 29 Years Old -A physical freak with the proven ability to carry a stable, tag team and an individual program as both a fan favorite and a despised traitor. He has shown the uncanny ability to adapt to any opponent. It can be argued he hasn't even been let free to experiment with an expanded move set. Currently making his way back from a major injury, but to that point, he had been a model of durability.
  3. Kevin Owens 6'0" 266lbs 32 Years Old -Dynamite on the mic. So deceptive as he is basically a "tweener" in size. Has the requisite power to pull off unique suplexes, but the speed and agility to go off the top rope with ease. Has never once looked out of place at the top of the card. A master manipulator, KO can work with anyone in the ring. Added bonus, may be the best guest color commentator in the world.
  4. Bray Wyatt 6'3" 285lbs 29 Years Old -Just brimming with charisma. Has a wealth of experience at his young age. No stage is too big for him. His command of the Wyatt Family has firmly secured his status as a leader. What keeps him from climbing any higher is the question of whether he can he be controlled by authority. Once described as an Army tank with a Ferrari engine, the description is apt in outlining his stellar size-speed-strength combination.
  5. Roman Reigns 6'3" 265lbs 31 Years Old -It certainly feels like it has been "one versus all" in his climb towards acceptance from the universe ever since his split from the SHIELD. Essentially being pre-ordained as the next mega-star has caused his rapport with fans to suffer. But if you look at the peripherals, he has it all, and then some. The power, the look and the ability to stir up a reaction makes me feel like he could rise through this process. Family tree is second to none.
  6. Brock Lesnar 6'3" 286lbs 38 Years Old -If it weren't for questions about his commitment, he'd be in the conversation at the top of the draft. The fact that he may only work a scant few dates a year and still ranks this high speaks to his immeasurable physical talents. You would have to secure the services of Paul Heyman to make this investment crest but if you get a motivated Lesnar, you have a top level Wrestlemania main event every year.
  7. Sami Zayn 6'1" 212lbs 31 Years Old -Seem a bit high for the quirky Canadian? Don't be shocked if this ends up being his floor and Zayn skanks his way to the top of someone's draft board. With his ability to connect with the audiences, and his superb work rate, he might as well come with a currency printing press. There is huge potential in his international appeal too. Didn't even mention that the list of superstars with more match of the year candidates than Zayn is non existent.
  8. The New Day: Big E 5'11" 285 lbs 30 Years Old, Kofi Kingston 6'0" 212bs 34 Years Old and Xavier Woods 5'11" 205lbs 29 Years Old -Put simply, the most entertaining act in sports entertainment today. Crossover appeal abounds. The fact that all three superstars have above average to great in ring ability and that is the least focused attribute of their group speaks to their screen grabbing "it" factor. The real coup in this group might be Big E, an under-the-radar pick as a future world champion.
  9. Dean Ambrose 6'4" 225lbs 30 Years Old -The Lunatic Fringe carries a rabid fan base, a wealth of independent credentials and a healthy resume of show stealing matches in his brief WWE career but there are concerns about his mental make up and durability which prevent him from moving up any higher. Can you count on him as a world champion? He carries his lanky frame well and is a consistent performer.
  10. Rusev 6'0" 304lbs 30 Years Old -As if the real life Ivan Drago experimentation existed, this Bulgarian Brute is what you would create in a lab if you were trying to stage a hostile takeover. Fluid as he is destructive he has also shown that he can display humor and ruthlessness alike. Able to take direction, would he be a fish out of water if he were left to his own devices?
  11. Shinsuke Nakamura 6'2" 229lbs 36 Years Old -Based on early returns in the states, this Japanese import is trading yen even to the dollar. The risk you take is gambling that his act translates to a bigger stage and that less enthusiastic audiences may not embrace his nuances as openly as they do at Full Sail. First class ability and star quality that pops off the screen is worth the roll of the dice that he'll be daijoubu.
  12. Finn Balor 5'11" 190lbs 34 Years Old -This feels like a safe pick to me. There's money in the demon, there's intrigue in a potential reunion of old NJPW pals and there is very little risk that audiences don't take him seriously after a near record setting title reign in nXt. Good looks and a charming disposition belie an aggressive style that allows for fresh match ups for years to come. This might not be a home run pick, but you can bet it's no worse than a ground rule double.
  13. AJ Styles 5'11" 218lbs 38 Years Old -How many years does he have left? That's the question potential GM's must weigh in regards to the Phenomenal one. However, his relative obscurity to he main stream audiences guarantees character freshness for an extended period of time. Fluid and effortless in the ring. Wealth of knowledge would prove invaluable in the locker room.
  14. Randy Orton 6'5" 250lbs 36 Years Old -Depending what Randy Orton you pick, this could be the steal of the draft. Essentially born and bred to be a world champion, Orton suffers through bouts of emotional turbulence, fragility and immaturity. But when healthy, he is a five star match, a chilling promo and a proud flag holder for any brand. The RKO outta nowhere remains one of the most scintillating moments in pro wrestling.
  15. Samoa Joe 6'2" 282lbs 37 Years Old -A bruiser with a no nonsense mentality, could Joe be a risk to his fellow competitors? There are concerns that he could have passed his prime but I feel like the motivation and drive is there. Doesn't necessarily have the look, but he has an authenticity to him that others can't match. Commanding presence.
  16. American Alpha: Chad Gable 5'8" 202lbs 30 Years Old and Jason Jordan 6'3" 245lbs 27 Years Old -Technical prowess and a palpable chemistry make this team a can't miss duo. There is always room for well conditioned, elite athletes on any roster but there is a clear connection with the fans here. Unparalleled work ethic means they won't regress for several years. No out of ring concerns at all.
  17. Enzo Amore 5'11" 200lbs 29 Years Old and Colin Cassiday 7'0" 276lbs 29 Years Old -Rare gift of gab and unteachable size give Enzo and Big Cass squared circle street cred. They have an aura about them that screams bona fide and their burns cut deeper than most wrestling insults. What they lack in the ring they make up for with pure emotion and unbridled enthusiasm for their craft. Concussion concerns with Amore may end up hurting their stock some.
  18. Sheamus 6'4" 267lbs 38 Years Old -Built like a reinforced Irish pub, the Celtic Warrior is far from a sexy pick, but you could do much worse at this spot. He is what I would call solid, if unspectacular, across all areas of measurement, which makes him low ceiling, high floor pick. A unique look, an outstanding physique and the willingness to work with various wrestlers bodes well for his future. Must battle complacency.
  19. Apollo Crews 6'1" 240lbs 28 Years Old -Pure upside pick here. Sky is the limit as his measureables and athletic ability catch your eyes immediately. But to this point his mic skills would make even Shelton Benjamin blush. Which is his most apt comparison until he develops a more well-rounded personality that can connect. The anti-Sheamus pick. Higher ceiling, much lower floor. In the end I think Apollo's siren song will tempt someone much earlier than this projection.
  20. Miz 6'2" 232lbs 35 Years Old -An eminently hateable performer who brings both Hollywood pedigree and "started from the bottom" admirability. Basic and formulaic in the ring and on the mic, but a natural smarminess makes for natural rivalries. Takes direction well. Dependable, and in this range, that's a top trait to look for. I made up three words in this bio, a very MizTV thing to do.
  21. Kalisto 5'6" 170lbs 29 Years Old -Looking to be the next great WWE luchador, Kalisto has shown promise and also his shortcomings. He is awkward on the mic and sometimes moves too fast for his opponents. Size is an issue but also a selling point. Marketable and by all accounts a genuinely good person who cares about his craft.
  22. The Club: Luke Gallows 6'8" 304lbs 32 Years Old and Karl Anderson 6'0" 241lbs 36 Years Old -Whilst Gallows is a young veteran, Anderson is still relatively unknown on the grander stage. What is clear is that they communicate well and can function both as leaders and followers. At this rate, there seems to be little upside as singles performers. But if their tape from abroad and podcasts are any indication, they have a lot of cards they haven't played yet. Both in and out of the ring.
  23. Alberto Del Rio 6'5" 239lbs 39 Years Old -Another safe pick. Certainly capable of carrying a show. But equally capable of mailing it in. Underutilized as a performer outside the ring, he is a handsome, multilingual and charming superstar who has potential for expanding the fan base. Suspension of disbelief on his finishing maneuver is distracting but easily fixable. Comes from a top lineage.
  24. Neville 5'10" 194lbs 29 Years Old -A jitterbug. An acrobat that is unmatched in aerial excellence. His size and accent seem to hamper him in being taken seriously. He did prove to be a work horse in both nXt and WWE but a freak accident curtailed his momentum. Flashy move set makes for an entertaining match but unbelievable champion. No character concerns, loves the business. Some untapped potential here, a possible steal.
  25. Baron Corbin 6'8" 275lbs 31 Years Old -What you see is what you get here. A legitimate athlete with legitimate fighting background credentials. His attitude is poor and his demeanor prickly. He has the size and sudden presence you clamor for. Has improved markedly over the years but has he hit his wall? Jury is out on his promo skills for now.
  26. Austin Aries 5'9" 202lbs 38 Years Old -The greatest dilemma that ever existed. In this draft at least. Aries represents everything old and new. He has a lot of mileage on him, but not at the highest level. He seems destined to be typecast as a mid-major prospect but has that ability to go beyond even his best work. Reminds me of a Batista level jerk who seems perturbed at the lack of received respect.
  27. The Wyatt Family: Luke Harper 6'5" 275lbs 36 Years Old, Erick Rowan 6'8" 317lbs 34 Years Old and Braun Strowman 6'8" 385lbs 32 Years Old -A wild card pick. You get a proven champion in Harper, a lost minion in Rowan and a green behemoth in Strowman. Harper has proven to be a team player in the past and he represents value here. Rowan functions best as a heavy. Strowman needs to show vast amounts of improvement or he runs the risk of losing his unstoppable luster. You need to draft them as a handcuff to Bray Wyatt, worth the reach.
  28. Hideo Itami 5'9" 182lbs 35 Years Old -A lot of debate in the draft room about Itami, whose shine has been dulled some by the introduction of Nakamura. Absence has not made the heart grow fonder, rather, Hideo being out of sight has kept him out of our minds. But before we say sayonara to the original can't miss Japanese import, there's a rather larGe elephanT in the Squared circle that hasn't been unleashed yet. Injury problems continue to plague Ita(i)mi, who, some say, is still the most polished ring technician in the world.
  29. The Vaudevillains: Aiden English 6'3"215lbs 28 Years Old and Simon Gotch 6'1" 221lbs 33 Years Old -A unique act that sways too close to novelty for my taste, but they have proven to be both effective as sinister foils. (See silent movie vignettes) And as triumphant chivalrists. (See nXt Takeover: Brooklyn) They have the chops to succeed but do they have the moxie to be sustainable performers in this not-so-bygone era.
  30. Dolph Ziggler 6'0" 218lbs 35 Years Old -If the draft had been held only a few short years ago, we're looking at a top 10 pick. Since then, his stock has plummeted. There is a staleness to his performance at the moment despite his undeniable passion, work ethic and willingness to do the job. A company man by all accounts, he has his outside pursuits that could both hamper and increase his prospects and fan base. Talent is there, but smugness is catching up to his ability to sell himself.
(Edit) forgot Cesaro!
11b. Cesaro 6'5" 232lbs 35 Years Old -Useful in any way. Is a Swiss Army knife too lazy of a comparison? With his unrivaled strength and multi-cultural appeal, Cesaro appeals to a broad spectrum. Shows no weaknesses in ring but has his doubters on the stick. Does he overtrain? Certainly seems to take his "professional" mantra seriously in and out of the ring.
Just Missed the Cut: The Uso's: Jimmy 6'3" 251lbs and Jey 6'2" 228lbs 30 years old.
The Dudley Boys: Bubba Ray 6'4" 326lbs 44 Years Old and D-Von 6'2" 290lbs 43 Years Old.
The Revival: Dash Wilder 5'10" 222lbs 29 Years Old and Scott Dawson 5'10" 224lbs 31 Years Old

These teams are a amalgam of future past and present. The Uso's main feature seems to be their bloodline. They are underrated athletically however. The Dudley's seem focused to move past their one trick but seem stuck in neutral. No matter where they go, their past accolades earn them a reaction. And the Revival is a rugged throwback, but a throwback to the day where generic teams ruled the land. More personality could help them immensely.

Top 10 Women's Wrestlers Prospects
  1. Sasha Banks 5'5" 114lbs 24 Years Old -Unrivaled fan support and athletic ability. Huge potential in and out of the ring. Fascinating personal story and background and owns her persona. Star seems to shine brightest on the biggest stages. A diligent student of the game.
  2. Bayley 5'6" 119lbs 26 Years Old -Since when have you see a women's wrestler push merchandise to a male fan base? Bayley's popularity is in another stratosphere. Her positivity seems authentic and her ability to adapt is second to none. Is extremely grateful for her spot and will not take it for granted. A case will be made to make Bayley your girl at #1.
  3. Charlotte 5'10" 133lbs 30 Years Old -Freaky athlete. Not very many in the history of women's wrestling look as good as she does with as little experience as she holds. Getting better in front of our eyes at every turn both when verbally and physically abusing her opponents. Distinct signature mannerisms and finishers make her stand out.
  4. Asuka 5'3" 137lbs 34 Years Old -Dangerous striker and carries herself well. Passion is evident as is the ease of which she has acclimated. Language skills are still not there but she more than makes up for it with her facial expressions. Has shown an eagerness to learn with little to no ego.
  5. Nia Jax 6'0" 272lbs 31 Years Old -High upside here as her size and strength makes her stand out in the crowd. She has a great support system to lean on and despite her physical limitations, has shown that she can be an intimidating enforcer. Lots of work needs to be done here, but it would be worth the investment.
  6. Paige 5'8" 120lbs 23 Years Old -Fiery and headstrong, a cerebral master of her craft and a long time veteran at such a young age. Success came quick for Paige and her career seems stuck in limbo. If she re-dedicates herself to the ring, she will again become Women's Champion in no time. If she focuses more on out of the ring endeavors, she may still claim the title again. The talent is there, the focus is questionable.
  7. Dana Brooke 5'3" 145lbs 27 Years Old -Looks the part in every way. Another in a long line of nXt success stories. Her improvement is often cited among her top attributes. Dana Brooke is still feeling her way around this professional wrestling business but has slowly begun to find her groove. Limited in the ring but has many of the little things down.
  8. Eva Marie 5'8" 125lbs 31 Years Old -Love her or hate her; there's no in-between. Her look is the moneymaker here so whether or not she ever becomes a serviceable wrestler is ancillary. The important thing is that she gets more comfortable between the ropes. A proven mass market appeal.
  9. Becky Lynch 5'6" 135lbs 29 Years Old -She gets high usage as a jack-of-all trades but master-of-none type wrestler. We all know she's good, but is she great? Is there time to develop on the main roster. How many more hypotheticals can I fit in here? How do we know when wins and losses don't necessarily matter: The Lass-Kicker is a believable threat without a credible victory.
  10. Emma 5'5" 132lbs 27 Years Old

    -Finally rounding into position and coming into her own before an untimely back injury forced her to the sidelines, Emma has overcome a lot to even get here today. That speaks well for a long term career. Because she hasn't done much, there are tons of fresh feuds ready for the Aussie. The stigma of her original bubbly personality hasn't quite worn off yet.

Top 5 By "position"
  1. Heath Slater 6'2" 216lbs 32 Years Old -Generally highly regarded as an opponent who enhances the opponents ability.
  2. Zack Ryder 6'2" 224lbs 31 Years Old -Comes with highly active social media accounts included.
  3. Bo Dallas 6'1" 234lbs 26 Years Old -Could do worse than the grating Bo Dallas. Especially if brother bear comes calling...
  4. Curtis Axel 6'3" 228lbs 36 Years Old -Take the chains off the Axeman and he'll make anyone look perfect.
  5. The Ascension: Konnor 6'4" 268lbs 36 Years Old and Viktor 6'2" 219lbs 35 Years Old -Because who doesn't want to jam out to their entrance theme on Superstars?

Veteran Talent
  1. Chris Jericho 6'0" 227lbs 45 Years Old -Frankly, there isn't a better mentor in the game right now. Don't know when he'll up and leave, but does it matter?
  2. Big Show 7'0" 450lbs 44 Years Old -People still love to see a giant get his comeuppance. Seems willing and able to give it a go for another couple of years.
  3. Kane 7'0" 323lbs 49 Years Old -Versatile and intelligent, Kane is the type of brick and mortar glue guy every winning organization needs.
  4. The Golden Truth: R-Truth 6'2" 220lbs 44 Years Old and Goldust 6'6" 232lbs 47 Years Old -Comedic timing and a wealth of experience are just a couple things this odd couple adds to the locker room.
  5. Mark Henry 6'4" 399lbs 44 Years Old -The collective gasp when he walks through the curtain to Three 6 Mafia is always a fun part of any show involving the world's strongest man.

Superstar Sleepers:
  1. Darren Young 6'1" 239lbs 32 Years Old -With Bob Backlund in his corner he is suddenly interesting and relevant again. An advocate for the LGBT community.
  2. Tye Dillinger 6'3" 223lbs 35 Years Old -Peers rave about his ring work and his presence screams STAR. But his performances haven't matched the hyperbole just yet.
  3. No Way Jose 6'3" 245lbs 27 Years Old -Time will tell if this is a flash-in-the-pan Full Sail over-reaction or whether or not he has actual staying power. Would like to see him in more competitive matches.
  4. Andrade "Cien" Almas 5'11" 180lbs 26 Years Old -Pure speculatory pick here. But based on previous tape and his imminent introduction, he might be a candidate to draft before the secret is out!
  5. Mojo Rawley 6'4" 290lbs 29 Years Old -Yes I know, he's unbearable at times. He is also an emphatic performer and a contagious personality.

Women's Wrestlers Sleepers
  1. Summer Rae 5'10" 118lbs 32 Years Old -Has everything you want in a Women's Wrestler. Except the opportunity thus far.
  2. Billy Kay 5'10" 132lbs 26 Years Old -The Aussie pipeline has provided some great talent and Billy is no different.
  3. Peyton Royce 5'7" 132lbs 23 Years Old -The down under express continues with this flower. More clarity is needed on her persona, not her capability.
  4. Mandy Rose 5'4" 120lbs 24 Years Old -Will come in with a reaction one way or the other based on her exposure on Tough Enough and Total Divas. Who knows if she has the commitment to the ring work.
  5. Lana 5'7" 120lbs 31 Years Old -Already beloved and hated by the fan base, Lana needs to get serious about her career if she wants to be anything other than arm candy for Rusev.

Deep Sleepers
  1. Rich Swann 5'8" 165lbs 25 Years Old -Riveting background story and infectious personality make Swann a potential high risk/high reward play.
  2. Hugo Knox 6'0" 225lbs 31 Years Old -Impressive background in Soccer (Futbol) and notoriety for his persistence.
  3. Tommaso Ciampa 5'11" 210lbs 31 Years Old and Johnny Gargano 5'10" 190lbs 28 Years Old -Darlings of the intelligent crowd, are these two bound to continue tagging? Or will their hard hitting, exciting approach to the profession lend itself more favorably for singles runs?
  4. Tucker Knight 6'4" 265lbs 26 Years Old -Has the size and agility to make an impact. Yet to be exposed as a credible threat. Looks the part.
  5. ZZ Loupe 6'2" 280lbs 19 Years Old -Will come in and be beloved no matter how much he struggles between the ropes. His affable personality will win over old and new fans alike. If you can live with his inconsistency, he has several unteachable traits.

Buy Low Candidates
  1. Tyler Breeze 6'0" 212lbs 28 Years Old and Fandango 6'4" 244lbs 34 Years Old -Both are talented and committed to themselves. Talent is there, success has eluded them both. Starting to gain momentum but have been victims of stop and start dissolution before.
  2. Titus O'Neill 6'6" 270lbs 39 Years Old -Has gotten in his own way a lot. There is a lot to like here, but at his age, time is running out.
  3. Jack Swagger 6'6" 262lbs 34 Years Old -A former world champion who has developed a reputation of being hard to work with and dangerous. If his past run-ins have humbled him, there might still be another run for, We...the People!
  4. Sin Cara 5'10" 205lbs 38 Years Old -People will buy the mask. They just don't necessarily buy the character. Still, there is a lot of marketing to be done here. Sin Cara is a great crossover act.
  5. Bronson Mathews 6'7" 290lbs 25 Years Old -Comes in with negative backstage opinion but all signs indicate he has paid his penance and is moving on. The Yeti call is equal parts annoying and memorable
Edits: GrammaSpelling/Bad Formatting etc. Sorry for partyrocking it like a noob
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2016.01.04 10:21 clearliquidclearjar WEEKLY EVENTS 1/4 – 1/10

Welcome to the future!
Tally’s Independent Cinema and Theater Offerings:
  • Leon High: Leon High Thespian Showcase. “Come see the world renowned Thespian Troupe 1429 showcase this year's district material.” 6pm/$5
  • Leon County Human Services: 2016 Big Bend Striders Interest/Registration. “Big Bend Striders Track Club (BBSTC) is an exciting youth program in the Big Bend Area. BBSTC offers track and field participants ages 4 -18 a fun opportunity to improve their physical condition, learn new skills, and compete among the best athletes in the Big Bend Area and surrounding communities.” 6:30pm
  • TV Land: Melt Channel Boysin Glazed Graham Snuggs Indian Shores Lingua Franca. 7:30pm/$5/all ages
  • The Wolf's Den (1 3 5 Dixie Dr): Sallow, Watcher, Silt, Annacrusis. 7:30pm/$5/all ages
  • Madison Social: Trivia Social. They do half and half theme and miscellaneous, so check their FB every week for an event page. 7pm
  • Kavakaze: Cards Against Humanity. 7pm-8pm
  • Brass Tap in Midtown: Trivia. Check their FB page for the theme. 7pm
  • Northside Pies: Bar Trivia With Hank. 50 questions of sweet, sweet trivia. Win a pizza! Use your brain! 7:30pm/free
  • Bird’s Oyster Shack: Trivia With John Carpenter. This is a fun, lively night. 7:30pm
  • GrassLands Brewing Company: Trivia Factory. 7:30pm
  • Fourth Quarter: Trivia With Professor Jim. AUCE wings. Truly a trivia favorite. 8pm
  • Krewe de Gras: Karaoke With Pete. 9pm
  • Pockets Pool: Karaoke with Dwight. 10pm/21+
  • HalfTime Pie Pub: Flippin Tuesday! w/Black Tarzan. “The finest selection of Trap x Twerk x EDM x BassWave vibes.” 10pm/$3 guys, free for ladies/18+
  • Jefferson County Public Library (Monticello): Book Sale. 9am-7pm
  • New Leaf Market: Growler Country Outpost Official Grand Opening! “We will be giving away a FREE Growler with any Growler fill purchase. That's right, FREE! One day only. This way you are set to bring your Growler when you do your shopping and get a fill. Great beer the environmentally freindly way, use the same container over and over!” Noon-8pm
  • City of Tally – Animal Service Center: Low Cost ID and Rabies Clinic. 3pm-5pm
  • Bird’s Oyster Shack: Jim Crozier’s Wednesday Night Lab Session with Jimi McKenzie. 6pm
  • Fermentation Lounge: Quizmaster General Knowledge Trivia. “Quizmaster is hosted by Bennett Miller from 7-9pm every Wednesday, and features three rounds of general knowledge trivia (and a weekly food special). It is free to play and teams of up to 6 are welcome. The winner of each round receives a sample flight, and the Quizmaster for the night receives a $25 gift card and serious credit of Geek Street.” 7pm
  • Brass Tap on Gaines: Trivia. Check their FB page for the theme. 7pm
  • Hurricane Grill & Wings: Trivia With Greg. 7pm
  • GrassLands Brewing Company: BYOBG! Bring Your Own Board Game. “Our gracious host, Trevor Bond, will be featuring one game each week. Feel free to bring your own games to play & share.” 7pm/21+
  • Proof in Railroad Sq: Bar Trivia With Hank. It’s fun and you should try it. 7:30pm/21+/no cover
  • Krewe de Gras: Trivia with Mr. Matt. $40 first prize 8pm
  • Just One More: Karaoke with Roger. 9pm
  • Bird’s: Comedy Night. I’m pretty sure this is both a performance and an open mic. 9:30pm/free
  • Room 201 Diffenbaugh: V89 Spring Cattle Call. “If you're interested in getting involved with WVFS Tallahassee, now is your chance! We are hiring in all departments: Announcing, Production, News, Sports, Public Relations, Development, and Continuity. No experience is required! Join us at the date/location listed below to learn more information about our different departments and to apply. Hope to see you there! Bring a pencil.” 6pm/you don’t have to be a student
  • The Plant: CPE Meeting. “Hey, it's our first meeting of 2016 and we've got a few things to finalize for this month. We'll discuss having a teach in later this month, plan for upcoming classes and events, discuss the guest speaker who will be here at the end of the month, as well as updates on the progress of the catalog. Come join us!” 7pm
  • TV Land Tallahassee (901 Buena Vista Dr): Wriggle / Bad Eric / Sick of Talk / Night Witch + En Ami. 8pm/$5/all ages
  • Lake Ella Area: Food Truck Thursday with Deja Blu. 6pm
  • HalfTime Pie Pub: Trivia. Check the Pub FB page for a theme and possible bonus points. 8pm
  • Gaines Street Pies: Bar Trivia With Hank @ Warhorse Whiskey Bar. With a picture round! Sound round! Speed round! Hoarder’s Delight drawing! And all the other trivias! Win a delicious 18” pizza! 9pm
  • Pockets: Karaoke Dance Party with Keith Welch. 9pm/21+
  • Birds: Karaoke Hosted By Jumpin Jams. Some of the most diverse and longest running karaoke in town. 10pm
  • Down Below (Under Barnacle Bills): Karaoke with Davin. 10pm
  • The Moon: Winter Greens Tour 2016 featuring Rebelution with New Kingston. 8pm/$25
  • Side Bar: Local Band Thursday: Corey Crumpacker w/ Invented Truths & Leah and The Aviators. 9pm/$9
  • Midtown Speakeasy: Echo Courts (N.C.), Dog Years (GA), Kilo Tango, Annacrusis, Scabs. “Slices of indie rock deliciousness brought to you from N.C.” 9pm/18+($8) 21+($5)
  • Parlay Sports Bar: Karaoke with Big Bob. 8pm
  • Just One More: Karaoke with Roger. 9pm
  • Down Below (Under Barnacle Bill’s): Karaoke with DJ Scott Long. 10pm
  • Stetsons @ The Moon: Karaoke with Johnny Ray. 10pm/$5/18+
  • 926 Lounge (Formerly Pugs): Fridays! “On the club side at 10:00 and midnight, let your pride colors shine with performances by Ms. Debra Adams and special guests. In between it all, dance your ASS off with high energy music from DJ Carben.” 5pm/$5/18+
  • FSU Museum of Fine Arts: Anne Frank Exhibit Reception. 6pm/free
  • TV Land: Local Hiphop Showcase! Capital 6, Ex-Novia, Buster Wolf, Versailles The Everything, Long Story Short, Ace Chan, Loserlab, MF Goon. 7:30pm/$5/all ages
  • Tallahassee Senior Center: Tallahassee Contra Dance. “Angela DeCarlis, who now lives mostly in Boston, MA, is coming up from Gainesville to call this dance; and the music will be played by Upsala, a fine driving contra dance band that coalesces from time to time in various parts of Florida. We feature contra dances (long facing lines), with occasional circle and square dances, to live traditional American music that has English, Irish, Scottish, French and African roots. We start with dances that are easiest to learn; as you gain confidence you will dance slightly more complex dances. All dances are taught before they are danced, and the caller will prompt you as to the next move. If you are new to this type of dancing, would like a refresher, or would like to help the newcomers, please come at 7:15 pm for a brief introductory lesson. No special clothes required, though we do recommend against high heels and boots. Dress for lively activity. Come with a partner, by yourself, or with a group; you will likely dance with lots of different people during the evening, regardless. Please bring a snack to share if you are so moved; we have snacks because people like you bring them. Also please bring your own water bottle, to cut down on paper waste; and walk, cycle or carpool to the dance to further cut down your carbon footprint.” 7:30pm
  • Club Downunder: Spring 2016 Drag Show: Saved by the Drag! “We welcome all students to join our host Vashai Avionce, and an unbelievably sexy line up of drag kings and drag queens as we start the spring semester with a show full of jaw-dropping performances, glitter, and slayage! Make sure you friend pridefsu on Snapchat to get a unique look at all the behind the scenes of the show. Afterwards, don't forget to grab a photo with your favorite performers! Performers include: Vashai Avionce, Spikey Van Dykey, Amiyah Chancellor, Cara Cavali, and the Fall Amateur Drag Show winner, Tarot Read!” 8pm
  • Black Dog on the Square: Hot Tamale Live: Smooth Acoustic Folk 'n' Blues. 8pm/free
  • Bread & Roses: Doo Wop Dance Party Bread & Roses Kitchen Benefit. “A grand soul has fronted BRK with the funds for a new hood/oven that was necessary for them to continue operation. But...they still need to get paid back. So come donate, buy beers, and dance your heart away showing appreciation for one of the greatest operations in Tallahassee.“ 9pm/$5/all ages
  • Bradfordville Blues Club: The Matt Schofield Band. 9pm/$25
  • Midtown Speakeasy: Mantra Love W/ That Kid With A Guitar And Sunghosts. 9pm/$8?
  • Atmosphere Pub: Victoria Lo, Invented Truths., Shaken not Stirred Burlesque and The INTOXICATORS! 9pm/$10/18+
  • Park at Monroe: The Downtown Marketplace. 9am
  • Corner of Georgia & Macomb: Frenchtown Farmers’ Market. “The Frenchtown Heritage Market offers a wide variety of fresh, naturally grown produce. Live music, cooking demos, fruits vegetables, and honey sold directly by farmers.” I bought some beet jelly there last week, and it’s delicious. 9am – 1pm.
  • Wakulla Springs Lodge: Bob Carey on Piano. “Come on out and bring along your vocal chops, browse through my lyrics book, pick up one of my pass-around mics and sing your heart out, or just grab a stool and enjoy a fun filled evening of music and dancing. Full bar open til late.” 7pm
  • El Patron: Pasion Latina. Bachata, Merengue, Salsa, Reggaeton. 9pm
  • Down Below (Under Barnacle Bills): Karaoke With Nathan. If you want to sing and drink cheap beer and liquor and not have to wait for huge crowds, this is your spot. 10pm
  • 926 Lounge: Sanctuary (formerly Blue Monday). 10pm
  • Proof Brewery: Resolution Run 5K. “You've heard of beer runs, beer mile, pub crawls- well its time to step up your game and sign up for the Florida Brewery Running Series / Proof Brewing Resolution Run 5K, a New Year's themed and chip timed 5k race held at Tallahassee's own Proof Brewing Company (Railroad Square) on Saturday January 9th, 2015. The race course is gonna be awesome as well with the 5k starting and ending at Proof, using part of Gaines Street, running right by Doak, turning on Jefferson in the middle of campus and then turning south to the frothy finish line! Participants will receive a beer, an event shirt & discounted beers afterwards.” Sign Up Here. 9am-3pm/$40
  • Tallahassee Nurseries: Sprouting and Layered Garden Salads. “Instructor Phoenix Fermin is a Community Herbalist, Director of Development and maintains the garden at Lichgate on High Road. Sprout a healthy lifestyle this year by growing your own sprouts in the comfort of your own home. In this workshop, you'll learn techniques to grow and enjoy different types of nutritious living foods – from soaking to serving. In addition, learn the art of creating beautiful layered garden salads that are nutritional, healthy and convenient for quick meals. Growing your own sprouts will keep you in abundance in the winter months and is a power food for salads, sandwiches, and smoothies. Samples will be provided.” 10am
  • Seminole Montessori School: Open House. 10am
  • Tallahassee Junior Museum: STEM Saturday: Vores! Carnivores! Herbivores! Omnivores! "The Tallahassee Museum's new STEM Program is meant to supplement the Museum’s exhibits and provide enriching experiences for guests. We encourage visitors of all ages to come and participate in these hands on activities and demonstrations. Although all activities are designed to appeal to a variety of ages some may be too advanced for children under the age of 4 years old. When you arrive for STEM Saturday, be sure to ask admissions where the activities will be located." 11am
  • United Church in Tallahassee: Mystic Fair. “The Tallahassee Mystic Fair is an event focused around building a more enlightened community. Here, you can Recover from the holidays, Reclaim your positivity, and Renew yourself for 2016. Join local intuitives for 15-minute sessions for only $25. Vendors of jewelry, essential oils and more will share their wares. Held at, but not sponsored by the United Church of Tallahassee.” Noon
  • Gamescape: Yu-Gi-Oh! Breakers of Shadow Sneak Peek. 10am/$20
  • Allegro Senior Living: Tallahassee Irish Fiddle Contest for Youth. 10am/free
  • Florida State Capitol: First Responder Appreciation Rally. 2pm
  • Robeks Fresh Juices & Smoothies: Tallahassee 1-Year Anniversary Party! w/Character Appearances by Darth Vader & Princess Leia, with Balloon Artist & Face Painter on site from BJ’s Clowns and Giveaways. Noon-3pm
  • Bradfordville Blues Club: The Heather Gillis Band--Birthday Party. 2pm/$20
  • Dixie Theater (Apalachicola): Tallahassee Swing Band. 3pm/$25
  • Fermentation Lounge: Share Night to Benefit The South City Multi-Sport Club. “On Sunday January 10th 4PM to whenever, Fermentation Lounge in the All Saints District will donate 20% of the nights proceeds to the South City Multi-Sport Club. How cool is that! Come down and have a beer with us. We can talk triathlon, Tallhassee running, Ironman Chattanooga 2016, FSU football or just sit quietly by ourselves and ignore everyone around us. We're terribly easy but come on down.”
  • Good Sam Arts: The Most Epic Birthday Party Ever. “Come out and see the Good Sam Players stage this fabulous, fun musical from Beat By Beat Press. About the show: Skyler is having the MOST EPIC 12th birthday party ever - everyone is coming! But then all the adults disappear, they run out of food and her brother, Charlie, takes over everything. How will they survive?” 7pm/free
  • Black Dog on the Square: Captain and Coffee. “Captain is having a get-together for an evening of friends and melodies. Join us for an hour of our favorite songs.” 7pm/FREE
  • Bird’s Oyster Shack: Crossroad Bluegrass. 7pm/free
  • Wahoo Seafood Grill: Wayne DeWeil. 7:30pm
  • Purple House Winter Concert Series: Jack Williams. “RSVP requested; call (850) 570-5160 or email [email protected]. Snacks and drinks will be provided, but feel free to contribute a bottle of wine!” 7:30pm
  • American Legion Hall: Bedhead Betty’s After the Holidays Bash. 8pm/$7
  • Club Downunder: Ex-Breathers at Club Downunder (2-Drummer Set) w/ Capital 6, Buster Wolf, Blemish. 8:30pm/$5/18+
  • Midtown Speakeasy: Castle Of Genre (Virg), Indian Shores, Luckily I'm The Hunter (Pensacola), Jackie Stranger (Jax), R.M. Blue. 9pm/18+($8) 21+($5)
  • Lake Ella: Sunday Brunch. 11am
  • Salty Dawg Pub & Deli: The Famous Acoustic Jam w/ Wayne, Glenn, and Bo. Open mic, free beer for performers. 6pm
  • Cabo’s Bar: Trivia with Hank. Brand new trivia night at your old favorite bar! Tabs for top teams! 7:30pm
  • Krewe de Gras: L. Allen Model Casting. “One week from today! Model Casting Men and Women. Ladies, please remember your heels.” Noon-4pm
  • Miccosukee Root Cellar: Sauerkraut Workshop! “Join Aaron Suko and Katie Harris of Full Earth Farm at the Miccosukee Root Cellar to learn how to make your own sauerkraut. All participants will leave with a big jar of kraut in the making made with Full Earth Farm grown cabbage and a recipe and information booklet on lacto-fermentation.” 1pm
  • St. Mark’s Wildlife Refuge: Wildlife Tours with Cyndi and Matt Johnstone. “Go behind the gates on our tour wagon to see birds, plants, and more (plan for 2-3 hrs.). The wagon is covered with open sides. Dress accordingly. Bring cameras and binoculars. Meet at the Visitior Center. Call 850-925-6121 to sign up.” 1pm
  • 5th Avenue Tap Room: Sligo Line Second Sunday. “Ride the New Year rails with Sligo Line to the 5th Avenue Tap Room this Sunday for their first performance of 2016! They'll be providing loads of great Irish music delivered by some of Tallahassee's finest musicians as well as high energy and thunderous step dancing. An evening with Sligo Line is a great escape to the Emerald Isle and not to be missed.” 7pm/free
  • Bradfordville Blues Club: John Nemeth. 7pm
  • The Shark Tank: The Island of Misfit Toys, Woozy, Ratboys, Whateverer. “Hyper-passionate, emo-ish art rockers from Chicago.” 8pm/donations/all ages
  • Midtown Speakeasy: Brown Widow (N.C.), David Lareau, Neil Alday, People Today. “Freak-folk from North Carolina's own indie darlings.” 9pm/18+($8) 21+($5)
Keep checking back, sometimes I update. Got anything to add?
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2013.03.28 08:49 tabledresser [Table] IAmA: I am Joe Rogan ask me anything

Verified? (This bot cannot verify AMAs just yet)
Date: 2013-03-27
Link to submission (Has self-text)
Link to my post
Questions Answers
I just want to say thank you for calling out Carlos Mencia for being a joke stealer and a talentless hack. What motivated you to call him out? Having a thief creeping around a comedy club is a stifling thing. It's a terrible feeling especially for young unknown comics that are terrified that this person is going to take from them and leave them with no recourse. It's also really frustrating when you find out that no one is willing to do anything about a thief as long as there's profit to be made.
I had never seen a plagiarist on that level before, in person on a regular basis. It was like having a creative vampire that haunted the hallways and we had to all band together to make sure none of us were turned into his victims. Instead of crosses and stakes we had code words we would shout out when he was in the room so that the comic onstage would stop doing material and would start just doing ad-lib crowd work until he left.
I never meant to "call him out" but when he challenged me that night to come up onstage and "say that shit to his face" I was more than happy to do so. It was something that had been building up at the comedy store for a long, long time, and after it was over it really did feel like we took down a monster.
I think in the long run it's better for him this way too. Karma is some real shit, and running around profiting off of stealing shit from people for that long has got to tax the shit out of your self esteem unless you're a serious sociopath.
Have you ever had a guest come on the podcast that you regretted or thought perhaps you should have done more research on before inviting on? Not really, because even the ones that were weird or off, I just sort of turn to redban and we start fucking around. The whole thing has been a real learning process and I don't think that would be possible without the sucky podcasts being in the mix.
What do you think is the most positive thing someone can realistically do to change the world? I think the best thing we can do to change the world is to inspire young people. The more people realize that the key to happiness in life is to surround yourself with good friends, to be a good friend, to challenge yourself in honest ways, to not take short cuts but rather to rise to the challenge and grow from the struggle. To not be jealous of each other's success but rather be inspired by it. The more we realize that the key to happiness doesn't lay in numbers in a bank account but in the way we make others feel and the way they make us feel. The values of true community.
Although these values are massively important and resonate with every honest person when they're discussing "meaning" and "happiness" in life, they're not taught in school. We learn the building blocks of mathematics, the fundamentals of language, the facts of history - but we never learn how to manage our minds. We never learn how to live by a code and to surround yourself with like-minded people and to inspire and encourage each other.
Occasionally we're fed clumsy, abstract shit like "think positive!" but no one ever gives us a clear path of what the fuck that means. No one ever tells you that all the success in the world will leave you a miserable wreck of a person if you stab your brothers and sisters in the back in your attempt to reach victory. No one ever tells you that all the money in the world ain't worth shit if no one gives a fuck about you and you have no friends.
The quicker we all realize that we've been taught how to live life by people that were operating on the momentum of an ignorant past the quicker we can move to a global ethic of community that doesn't value invented borders or the monopolization of natural resources, but rather the goal of a happier more loving humanity.
People can still make money and still find success while doing it all ethically. We live in a time where we're seeing corporations acting as remorseless, profit seeking monsters with each human part required to keep it moving feeling free of guilt because of the diffusion of responsibility that comes with being a single piece in a huge machine. Too many people have the attitude that this is the only way to do big business. That's a pile of weak bullshit, and this generation may be one of the first generations that has the information available to make that distinction and stop that flawed model from being acceptable.
The more people require the highest level of friendship and love of themselves the more other people will be inspired by them. If that sounds like some hippy, utopian bullshit... it's because it is. It also might be the only way people are ever really going to change. One person inspiring another, each commiting to upholding a higher standard until it becomes the norm.
Humanity has changed drastically over the past few thousand years. It used to be when people you didn't know showed up in town they were there to rape and murder. Now, they're tourists and they're welcomed with open arms as a valuable part of the global economy. One day I believe that if we don't blow ourselves up, or poison ourselves with polution, or get wiped out by a super-bug or an asteroid impact we'll slowly come to the understanding that we really are just one species, and that the only way to truly be happy is if everyone around you is happy as well.
The D-Wave can get you quantum speedup for a range of tasks that humans are good at, but that classical computers (the digital ones, at least) are bad at. I have my own suspicions about the physical reasons for this, but suffice it to say that *most of our cognition boils down to running a single algorithm [more info] that doesn't scale well on any of the hardware we've tried so far. Historically, we solved problems that required this algorithm (and, pre-digital revolution, problems requiring any kind of algorithm) by coming up with a cultural role and sticking a person in it (painter, blacksmith, photographer, architect, hunter, gatherer, etc.).** When cheap digital microprocessors became ubiquitous they didn't fulfill the core computational requirements that had necessitated the creation of these roles, but they did speed up the rate at which old roles were replaced by new ones. This is because much of the instruction and training that defined previous roles involved getting people to do stuff that computers are naturally good at (hippies call this "left brained nincompoopery") and as computers got good at making computers gooder (Moore's law and such) cultural roles were more frequently changed to continue making efficient use of the capacities of the new machines. (Source)* My question: In light of the info above would you consider interviewing Sir Roger Penrose or Hartmut Neven (a Google employee) about their respective views on nonclassical happenings in the human brain (1, 2)? I've entertained just about every feasible idea in terms of the origins of human consciousness. I would be far more conservative in my willingness to contemplate radical ideas if I hadn't had psychedelic experiences, but since I have, and since those experiences have been WAY weirder than anything I could have possibly imagined prior to taking those psychedelics I leave room for a lot of possibilities. Often times, whether I'm talking to someone who is skeptical like Cara, or someone who is almost certainly out to lunch like Melissa Ethridge, what I'm trying to do is get them to expand on their beliefs as far as they're willing to take it. This can often get people thinking that I believe what they believe, or disbelieve what they're skeptical of. Most of the time though, I'm just trying to get in their head. I try to not believe anything. "Try" is the key word, because my mind bounces back and forth occasionally with decisions and judgment, but my honest intentions are always to remain as open as possible. I would LOVE to get either Sir Roger Penrose or Harmut Neven on the podcast. Them, and a thousand more brilliant, mind blowing people. Any and all. It's the most beautiful thing about the podcast; getting to have conversations with all these fascinating people that would be almost impossible to hold down for a 3 hour conversation without it.
What's the hardest you've ever bombed on stage? I've eaten shit onstage with spectacularly disastrous results, but if I had to isolate the worst time ever I would have to say it was around 1992 in a weekend I worked with Jim Breuer.
It was a perfect storm of conditions that led to the most epic bombing moment for me; first of all I was headlining, and I really had no business closing any professional comedy show. I had only been doing stand up for 4 years, and although I could have some good sets now and again, I really had no solid stand up chops, and if anything went wrong I didn't have the experience, the talent or the material to stop the show from going off the rails.
I had just moved to NY and gotten a new manager, and I exaggerated how much time I could do so that he would get me work as a headliner. I really only had about 20 solid minutes of time, and that would only work under ideal conditions. On this particular weekend there was a whole laundry list of shit that was wrong. I had just broken up with my girlfriend. I had just torn my ACL ligament in my knee and for the first time in my adult life I couldn't work out to blow off steam and get my head straight. It was also a time where my new manager had convinced me that I should "dress nice" onstage. I was wearing some idiotic outfit that I would wear if I was going out to a club to try to get laid, and I felt particularly not funny dressed that way. That night it was the first and only time I tried dressing that way.
Jim and I were in the same boat at the time, and he could have headlined just as easily as I could have. We were both doing comedy for about the same amount of time, and although he was probably a bit stronger an act than me at the time, the shows all went well until the late show Saturday night.
The first show was weak, but I got through it. The second show however saw Jim in RARE form. He just fucking destroyed. I mean obliterated the room. It was one of the strongest sets I had ever seen at the time. He did well all weekend, but on this particular show he really caught a gear and took it to the next level. He had this closing bit about coming home drunk and his mom was a demon. It was a fucking hilarious bit, and that night he just smashed it out of the park. His closing bit was incredibly powerful, and he beat that audience into submission. It was really awesome to see, but backstage I was shitting my pants.
I was backstage watching him from the sidelines, and I knew I was fucked. I was standing there dressed like a club going douche bag, limping on my bum knee thinking about how my ex girlfriend is probably long over me and getting plowed by some new guy right now while I'm waiting to go onstage and make a feeble attempt to stretch my shitty 20 minutes out into a 45 minute closing act after watching Jim Breuer have one of the most explosively funny sets I've ever seen.
I went onstage scared, and from the moment the first words came out of my mouth I sucked. It was humiliating. I somehow managed to stay up there for 35 minutes while the audience was moaning and telling me I sucked. After it was over I was seriously wondering if I had what it took to make it as a comic. I was devastated.
What came next after the humiliation settled though, was a newfound determination and focus. I now knew what the highest level of eating shit onstage felt like, and I wanted to make sure that never happened again. In the next 6 months my act improved tremendously. I tightened up old bits and through out ones that were dead weight. I wrote new stuff and put much more time into performing and writing. I took the whole process to a completely different level.
When I look back now there were several times where I bombed onstage, and although every one of them sucked hard at the time, the terrible feeling that came with bombing motivated me to improve more than any good set I ever got. Two things happened that night; one was that I realized I had no business headlining, and that I needed to seriously overhaul my act and get to work. The other was that Jim Breuer really inspired me.
If I hadn't had to follow him I would have still been inspired, but because I did have to go onstage after him and I had to compare my performance in the same crowd as his, and realize there was no one to blame for my shitty performance but me it was a real learning experience.
It was a terrible experience at the time, but ultimately a very important learning moment for me, and it marked a very important growth point for my career. I never forgot that night, and although it doesn't haunt me, I will forever remember that feeling that comes with being out of line and disrespecting (even if unintentionally) the brutal nature of the art of stand up. That bombing made me a much better comic.
What is your favorite book that you have read? Fiction - probably either Steven King's "Pet Cemetery" or "Christine" and non-fiction "The War Of Art" By Steven Pressfield.
The reason those two Steven King books are my favorite has as much to do with the time in my life in which I was reading them as it does the content. I've always been a huge fan of Steven King. I just really enjoy that kind of book where there's no obligation to be realistic, and his imagination can take you on the craziest of rides where a car can possess the soul of a dead man, or the next door neighbor could become a werewolf.
Also, when I was reading those books for the first time it was when I was riding the T into Boston to take Tae Kwon Do classes and I was on a wild adventure in my life. It was the first time in my life I felt like I was accomplishing anything. It was a 30 minute ride into town ever day, and I looked forward to Steven King books to keep me company.
The war of art is an amazing non fiction book that's really been inspirational to me and many of my friends. I believe I found out about it from a John Mayer tweet, and once I started reading it I was hooked. I actually bought many copies and handed them out to friends. Many people that I gave it to said that the book changed the way they approached their craft - be it music, writing, comedy, even people involved in non-creative businesses. It's a powerful book about the creative process.
Have any desire to podcast with the RZA? His interviews and books show a supremely intelligent, interesting mind. I know you like Wu-Tang, plus he follows you on Twitter...so I mean it only seems right! I would love to. There's a lot of people I would love to get on the podcast, but there's only so many days in a week and lately I've had more possibilities and desires for guests than I've had time.
It's a good problem to have. Hopefully one day we can make it happen. I would have never thought that a year or two ago, but after David Lee Roth it seems like almost anything is possible.
Do you appreciate when the savages of the "Rogan Army" blast peoples twitters for you to get them on the podcast, or is it one of those things where you want to handle it yourself? As long as people are respectful I appreciate their enthusiasm.
What has been the most surreal moment for you on the podcast? Talking to Neil Tyson, David Lee Roth? You even admitted conversations like those would have been impossibilities for you before the podcast existed. Love the podcast - keep it up. Neil Tyson and David Lee Roth were both equally bizarre. Maynard from tool was weird as fuck too, especially since he reached out to me on twitter. I can remember looking at his tweet thinking, "Am I really fucking talking online to Maynard from TOOL and is he really fucking saying that he wants to do my podcast?" Until he walked up to me and shook my hand I wasn't really sure if it was actually him I was talking to online. That was a fucking trip.
What a cool motherfucker he was too. Man, I love that guy.
Joe I love the podcasts, especially the one with Les Stroud. So are you and Les still planning on the search for Bigfoot in British Columbia? We've talked about it recently in email, but nothing has been set in stone. We talked about Northern California and Alaska as well, as Alaska is where Les had his own bigfoot encounter.
Normally I listen to bigfoot stories with one eyebrow firmly raised, but when Les told his story I didn't sense an ounce of bullshit. If I had to bet the ranch on whether or not bigfoot was real I would lean towards no, but holy fuck would it be awesome if I was wrong.
What's the easiest way for your average person to expand their consciousness? I don't think it's ever easy. It requires focus, experience, reflection - none of those are really easy. The key seems to be getting on a path of intent. Wanting to expand your consciousness is one of the most important aspects of actually doing it.
I've met a lot of people that have done massive amounts of mushrooms but they remain idiots.
How many times a day do people quote that Dave Chappelle Fear Factor skit at you? It's pretty rare now, except on twitter. On twitter it's several times a week. During the heyday of the Chappelle show though it was a DAILY thing. Everywhere I went people would scratch their neck and say, "There's something you might not know about me, Joe Rogan..."
He was never an atheist. More of an agnostic with a passion for simulation theory. What he said.
This isn't the same account as Joe Rogan used last time: JoeRoganForReals. Please tweet this out for verification. I lost the password for that account and I couldn't get anyone at reddit to respond to my requests so I created a new account. I tweeted it out so if people go to my twitter you can see that this is legit.
Last updated: 2013-04-01 07:32 UTC
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2013.03.21 06:11 strangenchanted [What to Do This Week in Manila: 3.21 - 3.24] Midnight Marriage, Picture Imperfect, Face Your Demons, Labasan Ng Sama Ng Loob!

This is my list of recommended events and it is not meant to be comprehensive. Feel free to add your own recommendations in the comments.
This edition was rushed -- my apologies.
Saturday's "Picture Imperfect" is one of the biggest contemporary art events in some time. If you have any interest in the contemporary art scene of Manila, you will not miss it. (But I will, sadly, coz I have a plane to catch.)
The Midnight Marriage (opening reception)
Face Your Demons: A Photographic Exhibit on Fears & Nightmares
December Pilipinas: The EP Launch
Labasan Ng Sama Ng Loob Dance Party
Play It By Ear: Jazz Thursdays - The Rick Countryman Trio
Crash Course @ 70's Bistro
Patrick Cruz: Solo Exhibition (opening reception)
Cara & Jason @ Boho
Convention for the Arts & the Cultural Night
A Conversation on Art Histories
Picture Imperfect: Curated by Roberto Chabet and M.M. Yu (opening reception)
Earthmover "Two" Music Video Launch
Anyo @ BoHo
Kanto Music. Sound. Bar. Opening
Fool For A Loop
Holi Festival
Uke Can Save Mother Earth
Luneta Through Time: Experience the History of the Philippines in Luneta
Love Quest
EDIT: Added Luneta Through Time on Mar 24.
EDIT 2: Added Earthmover "Two" Music Video Launch on Mar 23, Love Quest on Mar 24.
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